


opened my eyes to something new

by tooomuchcoffee



Category: SKAM (Norway)
Genre: Alcohol, Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Even Bech Næsheim and Isak Valtersen Meet Differently, Alternate Universe - Neighbors, Angst, Doctor Isak Valtersen, Eskild Tryggvason the Gay Guru, Evak - Freeform, Even has a daughter, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Hospitalization, Hospitals, Inspired by Grey's Anatomy, Isak Valtersen is a Mess, Lonely Isak Valtersen, M/M, Neighbors, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, POV Isak Valtersen, Pining, SKAM, also basically everyone works at the hospital, dad!even, kinda grey's anatomy inspired lol
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-30
Updated: 2021-02-11
Packaged: 2021-03-11 01:02:22
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 32,706
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28436577
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tooomuchcoffee/pseuds/tooomuchcoffee
Summary: Isak has a life plan. A life plan that involves being a doctor, a surgical resident, and a guy who lives alone in a mostly empty two-bedroom apartment. He was focused and organized and he didn’t want his life to be disrupted. His new neighbors, well, they disrupt him.Even has a daughter. That's all he has; his daughter, his best friends, and a new neighbor who works long hours and brings home random men, and he's so damn cute. He's opened his eyes, they are wide open, and they are looking at a beautiful doctor who isn't great at letting people into his life. Even has plans too, plans to be let into Isak's life.~~~Inspired by Grey's Anatomy... you don't have to be familiar with the show, but if you are, you'll like this.
Relationships: Even Bech Næsheim/Isak Valtersen
Comments: 73
Kudos: 197





	1. one

**Author's Note:**

> hello reader! welcome to the story of Dr. Isak and Cute-Neighbor Even. I hope you like it! 
> 
> also the titled is from the R5 song "Crazy 4 U" lol don't judge me

During the last two weeks, Isak noticed the apartment across from him buzzing with energy and _people_. Lots of people. Isak Valtersen kept to himself, normally. He had a couple friends, that’s all he needed, and he was way to stressed for his own good. Four years of university, four years of med-school, and finally he was in his first year as a surgical resident at Oslo Universitetssykehus. He was going to become a brain surgeon, that was his life plan. He had a life plan. That life plan didn’t involve relationships or friends outside of the hospital. He was focused and organized and he didn’t want his life to be disrupted.

But he couldn’t help being curious.

Throughout the weeks, Isak has seen at least five different men go in and out of that apartment across the hall. It puzzled him considering these were all two-bedroom apartments on the twenty first floor. He had tried to calculate all types of relationships that would constitute five people living in a small two-bedroom apartment. Either they are in a polygamous relationship (which honestly, Isak thought that was just a concept made up by TLC) or one of them is sleeping in the bath tub.

Either equation has boggled Isak's mind - until suddenly on Tuesday of the third week he saw yet _another_ man enter the apartment with an arm full of grocery bags. Isak paused in the hallway. This man was different. He was... fucking hot. He was tall and blonde and also, struggling to get the door open with his elbow. Isak jumped into action.

"Do you need - " Isak gestured to the bags and the door and the man looked up and smiled sheepishly. 

"Yeah thanks man," The blonde man says as Isak helpfully pushes the door open and holds it for him, peeking inside to see the apartment mostly empty, except for about twenty boxes and a big couch. Isak wanted so badly to ask about their living arrangement but instead he awkwardly waved and retreated into his own apartment. Fuck. 

Well now Isak has to start all over on his calculations. 

During the third week, his neighbors were seemingly nonexistent. He almost forgets about them until Friday when he's coming back from a grueling 48-hour shift at the hospital and there's a girl in the hallway. Isak stops in the middle of the hallway, staring at her. There was a girl in the hallway. A little girl with curly blonde hair who couldn't be more than three or four years old, wearing a hot pink, glittery dress, pink sunglasses and brown cowboy boots. She was just sitting against his apartment door with a naked Barbie in her hand. Isak didn't know what to do, he hasn't spoken to a child since he was one himself, but it felt wrong to just leave her there. 

"Hey," He called out, keeping his distance and staying about ten feet away. She looked up from her Barbie and pulled her sunglasses down on her nose.

"Hello," She said, and Isak raised his eyebrows. This small toddler is more intimidating than his attending doctors at the hospital. What the fuck? 

"Uh, are you okay?" He asked her and she huffed dramatically, crossing her little arms across her chest. Isak walked a little closer to her, slowly. 

"Daddy and I are fighting," She tells him. Isak looks around, a bit nervous that he’ll have to call social services.

"Uh... Okay? Where's your dad?" He asked. She pointed to the door across from his. Oh. Wait, they all have a kid? What the fuck is this? Isak went over to knock on the door.

"No! I’m mad. I don’t want him here!" She shouted and Isak quickly backed up. This little girl was scary. 

"Um, okay... but shouldn't he know you're out here?" He says, feeling like he's talking to a full-grown adult. Who is this girl?

"He knows," She huffs. Isak nods. 

"Okay well..." He looks up at his apartment door. He can't just leave a little girl out here, what if someone else comes to... steal her or something? Isak hums. “Well, are you hurt?” She shakes her head. "Do you want company?" The girl looked him up and down with scrutiny and Isak felt more judged than he's ever been. His heart sped up at the thought of being rejected by this tiny human. Honestly that would ruin his next few weeks. 

"Yeah," She answers, holding an arm out to shake his hand. "I'm Juliet."

"Isak," He leans down and shakes her tiny hand. She nods and smiles at him, melting his cold heart. Isak sat down on the floor with her, setting his bag next to him. He was dead tired but he wasn’t going anywhere. "Where's your mom?" He questions suddenly. Juliet shakes her head.

"I don't have a mom," She says and Isak hums, nodding. 

"You have two dads?" He assumes, but she shakes her head again.

"No, I have one daddy,” Juliet tells him, sticking her hand up with one finger raised and now Isak is really confused.

"But you live with... his friends?" He asks, internally wondering why the hell he's questioning a child like this. Juliet looks up with a confused expression. 

"No, just me and daddy,” She says. Isak nods.

"Oh," He says. "Cool," They stared at each other for a second. "How old are you?"

"Four," She raises her hand and carefully puts four fingers up. "You look like daddy," She blurts out. "Or a prince,” Juliet giggles.

"Your dad is blonde?" He questions and she nods. Oh fuck, that hot guy with the groceries is this girl's dad. Oh damn. 

"He's the tallest person in the whole world. And the nicest and the funniest and the smartest," She gushes with wide hand gestures, but then shakes her head and frowns. "But right now, I'm mad at him," Isak chuckles a little.

"Why?" He asks.

"Because he told me I not supposed to write on the walls in my bedroom, but it's my room! And I'm just trying to express myself," She stumbles over her words and takes too long to annunciate the longer words, but Isak doesn’t mind. She huffs, taking her pink sunglasses off completely. 

"I understand." Isak tells her, smiling kindly. Juliet was intriguing, Isak thought and if every kid was like this he'd probably talk to them more often. Or not – because that could be seen as creepy.

"He's being a butthead,” Juliet grumbles.

"Yeah, sounds like it," He chuckles, and then suddenly the door swings open and the same hot blonde from earlier this week is staring down at them with a shocked expression. He leans down and scoops Juliet up quickly and Isak scrambles to his feet. 

"I was just keeping an eye on her so some creep didn't try to do anything or... something," Isak defends quickly and Even's hardened expression softens into more confusion than anger.

"You live here?"

"Yeah," Isak gestures behind him to apartment 21. "Right there. I'm Isak. You have a really great daughter." He says awkwardly, trying to run a hand through his unruly curls. He knows he looks like shit, and of course _this_ is when he meets his hot neighbor.

"Let me down!" Juliet screeches, squirming in his arms. "I want to play with my new best friend!" Even's eyebrows come together to look confused.

"New best friend? I'm your best friend," Even says, seeming actually offended and Isak couldn't help but chuckle a little. 

"No! You're a big meanie and Isak understands me! Isak is my best friend," Juliet shouts and Even looks over to Isak with raised eyebrows.

"It's true, we've gotten really close in the last five minutes," Isak nods, with a smirk, making Even smile a little at him. Even set Juliet down on the ground and she ran to Isak's side, holding onto his hand and sticking her little tongue out at Even. Isak giggled at her.

"Come on Juliet, let Isak go,” Even sighed, mouthing 'sorry' to Isak but he just shook his head. Juliet huffed, turning to hug Isak's leg.

"Nice to meet you, new best friend," She says, looking up to Isak. 

"You too, best friend," He smiles, giving her a pat on the back before Even was grabbing her and hauling her back into their apartment. 

"Thanks for keeping an eye on her, man," He says, once Juliet was running back into her room. Isak shrugs.

"No big deal. She's really cool, and even if she's mad at you, she really loves you," Isak smiles and Even blushes a little.

"That's nice to hear. Sometimes I worry," He laughs nervously. Isak shakes his head.

"You shouldn't. Anyway, I should go but if you ever need a babysitter, I’m free on Wednesday’s,” Isak told him. What the fuck? Why'd you say that? That’s your _one_ day off! His brain was screaming at him. Even smiles.

"Actually that would be really cool, can I get your number?" Even asks, pulling his phone out of his pocket and handing it over. Isak put his contact in and gave it back, feeling butterflies in his stomach. Up close, Even is somehow even more attractive. He's got bright, blue eyes that match Juliet's perfectly and a beautiful smile that makes Isak feel like he might throw up from how nervous he feels. Fuck, they're just staring at each other. Isak struggles to find something to say.

"Uh, see you later." He stutters out, sounding like a complete idiot. He quickly turned around and grabbed his bag, quickly making his way into his apartment. Okay, so it's _not_ polygamy.

**~~~**

From then on, he sees Juliet and Even all the time. They don't talk much or even interact but they'll have moments where they both leave their apartment at the same time and Isak takes in their subtly matching outfits like when Juliet was wearing her princess crown and Even had his own king crown on his head or like when they both had matching blue overalls and yellow sunglasses. It was very adorable and Isak couldn't help but smile. Sometimes he'd run into them in the elevator or on the way into the apartment building and they'd be licking ice cream cones or drinking frappuccino’s and honestly, Isak could not name a better duo. And Juliet had a constant theme of ridiculous, outlandish outfits but honestly Isak wished he could be that confident. 

Her outfits were often very unpractical. She wears roller skates and sunglasses inside, or a whole Cinderella dress and a pearl necklace. One day Isak saw her wearing the monster costume that Boo wears in Monsters Inc. and he wasn't even that surprised. 

Today Juliet looked fairly normal, save for the cat ears on her head and whiskers drawn on her face. Isak was locking his apartment door while Juliet was tugging on his shirt and telling her about how they were going to Elias and Yousef's apartment tonight after they played at the park. Isak had no idea who those people were but he would listen to her ramblings any day.

But then he was too busy holding his giggles in as Even walked out in normal clothes, except for his own cat ears and shaky whiskers painted on his face. Even raised his eyebrows at Isak.

"Yeah, get used to this," Even said, gesturing to his cat ears. Isak nodded with a smile, even though the adorable matching outfits is never going to not make his heart speed up. When did he become such a fucking softie?

"Daddy, can Isak come with us to the park?" Juliet pouted.

"Baby, he's already going somewhere," Even tells her, taking her hand and pointing to Isak’s backpack with his free hand. Something about Even saying baby made his knees weak, what the fuck? Get a grip, Isak.

“Where ya goin’?” Juliet asked, straining her neck to look right up at Isak.

“I’m going to study at a friend’s house,” He lied to her. In reality he was just going to go study neurosurgical terms at a café all alone, but he wanted Even to think he wasn’t some lonely weirdo, which is kind of true. Juliet bounced up and down.

“Study with us!” She cheered. Isak found it hard to say no. Isak looked to Even, and surprisingly Even smiled and shrugged.

“If you want to join, you can,” Even said, “Don’t know how much studying you’re actually gonna get done though,” He smirked. Isak chuckled lightly before looking down at Juliet’s hopeful gaze.

“Okay, I’ll come,” Isak agreed, with a smile on his face. Juliet yelled out a cheer as the three of them walked into the elevator together. Isak looked over to see Even looking down at his daughter with a bright smile on his face. Isak had so many questions for this duo, and he really wanted to start getting some answers.

At the park, Isak was actually able to study for about five minutes. Juliet was distracted by her dad pushing her on the swings, so Isak was able to sit down at a picnic table in the shade and crack open his textbook and his laptop. Five minutes later, Even and Juliet sat down across from him and got his attention.

“What are you studying?” Even asked curiously. Isak looked up to find two pairs of identical eyes staring up at him adorningly. Isak felt like he might just melt.

“I’m a surgical resident at the University hospital… I’m studying to be a neurosurgeon,” Isak said, getting a look of shock from Even and a confused glare from Juliet.

“What’s _that_ mean?” Juliet asked, making Even laugh.

“It means Isak is a lot smarter than us, baby,” Even says through his giggles. Juliet crinkles her eyebrows at her dad, not understanding what’s so funny.

“I’m gonna play,” Juliet says, running off to join the other kids on the park. Even continues to stare at Isak.

“I feel like I should go too, you are way to fucking smart to be in my friend group,” Even jokes with an awestruck smile. Isak blushes a little, more at being called his friend than being called smart.

“What are your friends usually like?” Isak asks, a bit shyly. Even rolls his eyes.

“We’re all a bunch of film nerds who like art too much. I’ve known ‘em since high school, but I’ve never met someone so fucking smart – except Sana,” Even says. Isak perks up.

“Sana Bakkoush?” Isak asks, and Even’s eyes brighten up.

“Yeah! You know her?” Isak nods.

“We went to Nissen together and university together, and now she’s a resident with me. Don’t tell her I said this, but she’s kind of my best friend,” Isak tells him and Even smiles so wide it looks like it may hurt.

“Fuck, I knew I should’ve gone to Nissen,” Even sighs, and the way he fucking says it makes Isak’s heart speed up and his face go a little red, because fuck it sounds like he wishes he knew Isak back in high school. Before Isak can say anything else, Even continues speaking. “So, you planning on curing cancer or something?” Even teases. Isak chuckles and rolls his eyes.

“No,” Isak chuckles. “I just like science and… surgery. It’s straightforward and… simple, to me. I like helping people, and even though you… lose people, in this line of work… it’s worth it when you tell people you’ve saved their life,” Isak shrugs, trying not to sound like the arrogant surgeon. “I think I like brain surgery because it’s kind of the most important… when your brain’s fucked… it’s over,” Isak says, and he realizes it sounded cold when he looked up to see Even’s serious expression. Isak quirked an eyebrow.

“Yeah…” Even says, clearing his throat awkwardly. Instead of asking about Even’s discomfort, he asked another question he’s been wondering for the past few weeks.

“So, it’s just you and Juliet?” Isak asked vaguely, hoping Even would elaborate past a simple confirmation. Even looked up and nodded, looking like a weight was just dropped on his shoulders. Seeing the look on Even’s face made Isak want to take back the question immediately.

“Yeah uh… Her mother and I dated for a long time, a while ago. It’s really fucked up… We broke up about five years ago and then she moved away… Suddenly about nine months later she dropped a baby into my arms and disappeared,” Even sighed. What the fuck, Isak wanted to blurt out.

“That’s shitty,” Isak said, which wasn’t much better but what was he supposed to say to that? Even seemed like such a good person, why would someone leave him like that? Isak watched Even nod his head.

“Yeah…” Even trailed off before straightening up with a smile, “But I love Juliet more than anything, so I’m glad it happened, in a way,” He chuckled. Isak smiled with a nod.

“She’s really a character,” Isak said with a smile as he glanced up at Even’s cat-ear headband. Even blushed but shrugged.

“She won’t stop talking about you, it’s crazy,” He said and Isak raises his eyebrows at that. They had only really hung out that one time for a moment. “I guess she has a hard time making friends and…” Even pauses, like he can’t help but smile widely, “She says you’re like a prince,”

Isak rolls his eyes at that. “I’m not a prince, I’m a kid pretending to be an adult, who has no friends outside my coworkers and one too many bedrooms in my apartment,” He says, looking down at his open textbook. Even goes silent for a second and Isak thinks he’s made it awkward.

“How old are you anyway?” Even asks.

“Twenty-three, almost twenty-four, what about you?” He asked, figuring Even couldn’t be too much older. Even raises his eyebrows.

“I’m twenty-eight. Jeez, you’re so young,” Even remarks with a breathy sigh. He smiled wide though at Isak’s offended glare. Isak scoffed at him.

“You’re only four years older than me!” He fought back. Even shrugged.

“Still,” he mumbled just as Juliet came running to them.

“Issy! Come play with me!” She shouted, pulling on Isak’s jacket sleeve. Isak smiled at her and followed as she dragged him into the sandbox. They started on making a sand house for a Polly Pocket Juliet found in her jacket. Isak looked up to see Even walking towards them and once again he was reminded of their adorable matching outfits. Isak looked over Juliet’s clothes, wondering how someone could be so confident wearing something like this in public around all these other kids. Even at age four Isak wouldn’t been far too shy.

“Why does she choose to dress like this?” Isak asks once Even is standing right above him. Even shrugs.

“She can wear whatever she wants, she doesn’t have a job interview or something,” Even says, making Isak laugh. Juliet looked up at Isak.

“Do you want to wear my ears?” Juliet asked innocently, and Isak couldn’t bear to say no. He spent another hour with Even and Juliet, wearing cat ears on his head and making sand homes for a little doll. It was the most fun he’d had in a long time.

After about an hour, Even and Juliet had to go to lunch and Isak said he had to get home so they parted ways. Walking into his apartment felt weird, like it was too quiet. It was interesting how an hour and half with a cute guy and an adorable little girl could make him realize how much he’s missing out on. He’s always done this; been holed up in his room or his apartment, always wanting to be alone, work alone, sleep alone. Now the warmth of Even’s smile made him feel jittery, and like he just wanted to be near him.

Isak had never really felt like this before, because his other crushes have been mostly unrequited. Thinking about the string of awkward love stories Isak has endured the past few years makes him remember Chris Schistad. Chris had led Isak along for months, hooking up with him and pretending to care, but it ended with Chris fucking him over, treating him like all the rest of his hookups. Isak was mortified, because he had really thought Chris had shown an interest in him, and Isak told him his true feelings only to have Chris reject him cold-heartedly. Isak felt embarrassed just thinking about the memory and the words Chris spoke to him. He didn’t want that to ever happen to him again, and now he was rethinking everything with Even. Was it all one sided? Is he already friend-zoned? For all he knew, Even could be completely straight.

Isak huffed, letting his body fall onto his couch, exhausted from this emotional turmoil in his head. Fuck, what if Even is straight? Isak really wished he had never moved out of the kollectiv after high school.

“Hey baby gay,” Eskild greeted through the phone with an excited tone. Isak sighed, sort of wishing he could see Eskild’s comforting smile. “What’s up?”

“I have a new neighbor and… he’s really cute,” Isak tells him, earning a squeal from Eskild.

“Yes Isak! Go get fucked,” Eskild cheered, making Isak cringe.

“Eskild, no. I don’t want to just hook up with him, he’s really sweet and seems cool, I guess,” Isak says, feeling embarrassed just admitting that.

“Okay, have you talked to him?” He asked.

“Yeah, we just kind of hung out,” Isak says, but he knows he sounds hesitant. Eskild picks up on this, of course.

“Okay… So, what’s the problem?” Eskild wondered. Isak sighed loudly.

“We hung out at the park with his four-year-old daughter,” Isak tells him. Eskild sighs.

“Oh baby,” He huffs, “You really need a lesson on reading gay-dar, cause that ain’t it,” Eskild says.

“How am I supposed to know?” He tried but he couldn’t get too defensive when Eskild was probably right.

“Did he flirt with you at all?” He asks.

“I don’t know, not really… But he looks at me… in a way,” Isak trails off.

“Forget about him, come with me on Friday to that new gay bar downtown. If you aren’t on call, of course. It’ll be fun, you need to relax anyway,” Eskild tells him, and before Isak can come up with an excuse, he continues, “Alright, see you then baby!” and then hung up.

Isak sighed, looking around his barely furnished apartment. He thought he had it good, and now he feels like that lonely kid in a mostly empty two-bedroom apartment.


	2. two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Isak gets some alone time with Even...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't know how quickly I will update this story, but I will try my best.

On Thursday, Isak finds out that the hospital has to cut hours for their residents, so he isn’t allowed to work 100-hour weeks anymore. Honestly, he should be relieved but he needs the experience.

“They can’t _make_ me go home,” Sana complains to him as they scrub in on a whipple surgery. The residents were just told which ones had already worked their maximum 80 hours. Isak and Sana had a couple hours to do one more surgery before they were forced to go home.

“Actually, I think they can,” Isak tells her. Sana scoffs.

“They’ll have to drag me out of here. There’s a patient with a tumor the size of my fist and I am not missing out on that surgery,” She says. Isak groans, why did she have to remind him of the surgeries he’ll miss. Nevertheless, he wasn’t going to break the rules.

So, he took the tram home at sixteen instead of close to twenty-one. He stopped to get coffee and a sandwich to delay the alone time he’d have to face in his apartment.

As he entered the hallway on the 12th floor of the building, he noticed Even and Juliet sitting against their door on the floor. They both were licking ice cream cones and talking to each other. Even was dressed fairly normal but Juliet was completely dressed in a ballerina outfit, complete with ballet shoes and a pink tutu. Isak approached them and Even looked up to smile at him.

“Hey Isak,” Even greeted and Isak felt his heartbeat quicken. Juliet waved excitedly.

“Hey guys, what are you doing out here?” Isak asked as he got his key out of his bag. They couldn’t be comfortable out here, it was freezing in the hallway and for some reason they had chosen to snack on ice cream cones. Juliet looked like she was shivering.

“Daddy lost the keys,” Juliet sighed dramatically and Isak couldn’t help but chuckle. Even shrugged his shoulders.

“Yeah, we’re waiting for the landlord to get me a new copy of the key,” Even explains. Isak nods.

“Oh, well…” Isak looked to his apartment door. Before he could panic and let the smart, logical part of his brain take over, he continued, “You guys could come in here until he gets here.” Even raises his eyebrows, and Isak feels panic rise in his chest. Shit, why would you do that? This is exactly what Eskild told you not to do!

“Really? Would that be okay?” Even questioned, standing up to tower over Isak. Isak had never felt so short around someone. Maybe it was also Even’s intimidating amount of beauty. _Damn, that sounded gay._

“Yeah, of course,” Isak breathed out and Juliet squealed.

“Yay!” She twirled around with her ice cream and tried her best to dance, which was basically just swaying back and forth. Even laughed at her. Isak quickly turned to unlock his door. He didn’t even have to worry about his place being a mess because there wasn’t much to make a mess of. Isak let Juliet and Even in before closing the door. He took a deep breath before setting his bag on the table. Juliet began dancing around the empty space in the living room, spinning with her arms making a circle, as if she was a ballerina. Isak watched Even look around.

“Did you also just move in?” Even asks. Isak blushes embarrassedly.

“Uh yeah, about a year ago,” He tries to joke, and Even raises his eyebrows.

“Too busy cutting people open to take the time to decorate?” Even teases, and Isak chuckles.

“Yeah, pretty much,” Isak mumbles. “So, what do you want to do? I have Netflix on my TV, we could watch something?” He asks. Juliet nods furiously.

“Elsa! Elsa!” She cheers, making Isak give her a confused glance.

“No, babe, Elsa isn’t on Netflix, but I think Mulan is. Wanna watch Mulan?” Even asks, lifting Juliet up so she would stop spinning around. They all awkwardly sat on the couch together and Isak started the movie. He’d never seen any Disney Princess Movie and it was fun watching Even and Juliet dramatically sing along and act out the dance moves. Isak couldn’t help but laugh. About halfway through Juliet fell asleep on the floor in front of the TV and Even leaned forward to turn the movie down.

“Thanks for this, I thought she was going to die from boredom out there,” Even chuckled lowly. Isak felt like holding his breath as he turned to see how close Even was sitting to him now. Isak could lean in and be kissing him – no, stop thinking like that, you’re going to blush, oh shit, it’s happening. Isak carefully drew in a breath.

“Yeah, no problem,” He breathed out. Even smiled a bright smile that made Isak feel a little dizzy. Shit. Even’s eyes were too bright, and his smirk was too charming, Isak had to look away. He glanced down at his fidgeting hands. Even looked away as well, eyes roaming all over Isak’s apartment.

“You live all alone?” Even spoke low, almost at a whisper, and something about that was so comforting to Isak. Isak nodded slowly. “Seems lonely. I don’t even know what’s like to not live with family,” Even shrugs. Isak chuckles lowly.

“Yeah… I never really lived with family, so living alone isn’t a new thing,” Isak says lowly. Even looks at him for a moment. He really doesn’t feel like explaining but it feels like Even is going to ask him to continue, so he does anyway. “My parents just weren’t around much, and then my dad ran away when I was about sixteen,”

“Oh,” Even raised his eyebrows, and Isak smiled sadly at him.

“So, uh… my mom… She wasn’t diagnosed until recently but it was really rough as a kid because I didn’t understand what she was going through, and I called her crazy. I ran away when it was too much, and I really regret that,” He finished, feeling like he couldn’t stop talking. He took a deep breath. “I lived in an apartment for a little while, but it was a little crowded so… I moved out when I went to med school,” He looked up to see Even’s pitiful look on his face. Isak wanted to shout, he hated pity, he didn’t want that from Even. “And now I’m a doctor… because I want to help sick people. I guess I feel guilty about... her,”

“Wow… I mean, it’s really great that you became a doctor, even after everything you’ve been through with mental illness,” Even told him. Isak raised his eyebrows. “You’re a really great person, Isak,”

“I left my schizophrenic mom all alone… I’m not really that great,” Isak mumbled, feeling ashamed.

“But you learned from that… Some people never change their minds about mental illness, and you grew from that,” Even spoke softly, looking down at his hands. The way Even spoke made Isak insanely curious, but he didn’t want to ruin the quiet by asking something he thought would be so heavy. Isak gave Even a small smile of understanding, and Even returned it. It was silent between them for a little while but it was so comfortable that Isak didn’t feel the need to fill it with his awkward small talk anyway.

“So, what do you do?” Isak asks, breaking the silence. Even chuckles a little.

“Right now, I’m between jobs, but I moved ‘cause I got a job at a radio station,” He says. Isak quirks an eyebrow.

“You want to work in radio?”

“No, I wanna be doing film and I do that on the side with my friends but right now I just need something to pay the bills and kind of enter into the industry,” Even explained, and Isak didn’t fully understand it but he could understand needing a job and saying yes to anything close to what he wanted to do.

“What’s your favorite movie?” Isak asked, smiling at Even’s bright eyes. He lit up when Isak asked that, and it blew Isak away. Here was this beautiful, flawless man sitting next to him and Isak wondered what he did to deserve this.

“I have so many, we could talk about this for hours,” Even giggled, and they did. They talked for almost two hours, about films and what they were like in high school and their families, even though Isak didn’t have much to talk about in that department, but he learned about Even’s older brother and his three younger sisters, and his amazing parents. It made Isak smile, hearing Even go on and on about his supportive family. Even asked about Isak’s job and laughed when Isak lit up. Isak rambled about his coworkers and the cool surgeries he gets to do until suddenly Even’s phone rang, popping the bubble they had put around each other.

“Hello?” Even asked, looking away from Isak for the first time in hours. Isak snapped out of it, realizing it was already dark outside. Isak glanced at his phone, seeing that they had been talking for almost two hours. Isak raised his eyebrows, thinking he’s probably never lost track of time like that. Even got up after hanging up. “The landlord’s out in the hall with a new copy of my key so… I should go,” He told him, looking over at Juliet who was curled up on the floor with a pillow from the couch, fast asleep. Isak stood up as well.

“Yeah, of course,” He mumbled as Even bent down and picked up his daughter with practiced ease. Juliet curled into his chest as Even held her close and smiled softly as Isak watched her sleep. They looked at each other and Isak felt like something had changed between the two of them, but he didn’t know how to feel about it all. They smiled at each other softly for a moment before Isak felt his cheeks heating up and had to look away. He quickly went to his front door to let them out. Even looked like he was smirking a little, which made Isak blush even more.

Isak awkwardly watched as their landlord gave Even a key, and made him promise not to lose this one. Even nodded at Isak with a soft smile as he closed the door.

“Talk to you later, Isak,” He said lowly and Isak nodded back. He closed his front door and tried to stop smiling, but it was difficult.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the next chapter is longer... also thank you for reading!


	3. three

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Isak has a hookup.

Isak saw Even and Juliet just about every day, but usually only in passing. It had been a while since they had actually spoken to each other besides pleasantries. Juliet tirelessly tried to get Isak to come over for ice cream or join them at the park but Isak didn’t get a day off very often. Her efforts weren’t for nothing though, because it did get Isak thinking, mostly about Even’s beautiful blue eyes and perfect smile, but also about how he didn’t spend his time off to focus anything but his damn _life plan_. He didn’t think he deserved a moment to relax and eat ice cream while watching a Disney princess movie he hadn’t seen because he was too busy studying. He hadn’t even gone out for a drink with his friends in weeks. His friends also worked as resident interns but just because he saw them every day didn’t mean they were hanging out very often. Sometimes Isak felt like he was watching all of them from the outside. Jonas, Mahdi, and Magnus all lived together in a big house that Mahdi’s grandparents left him. He only ever hung out with Sana to study surgical terms. He wasn’t kidding when he said he kept to himself. It’s not even his friends lack of trying. In fact, Jonas and the boys’ text him a few times a week inviting him to get drinks with them, but their efforts were futile.

Until he was feeling lonely one Friday night, after eating a cup-o-noodles for one and sitting at his dining table that could seat four other people. The only clutter in his apartment existed on that dining room table. There were multiple textbooks and study materials laid out all over the old thrift store table. It felt depressing. Most of his daily life felt depressing after he’d left his apartment to live all alone and now that he got a taste of what it was like with Even and Juliet, he – _No, don’t think like that. Don’t sit here in your empty apartment thinking about how nice it would be to have a boyfriend._ Isak groaned and picked up his phone before he could wallow in thoughts of waking up next to bright blue eyes.

“Hey, bro! What’s up?” Jonas cheered into the phone, sounding as if he was already pre-gaming.

“Yeah, uh, are you going out tonight?” Isak asked, a bit shyly.

“Hell yeah, Issy, come join!” He heard Magnus shout. Isak agreed to meet them at their house. He knew he desperately needed to get laid, so Isak went and shimmied into his tightest black jeans and slimming blue button-up that brought out his green eyes. He grabbed the one six-pack of beers he had in his barren fridge (kind of planning for a night like this) and left out the front door. As he locked the door, he heard Juliet and Even singing as they walked up the hallway, belting out “Part of Your World” from The Little Mermaid. Isak couldn’t help but smile to himself before turning to greet them. They each had superhero costumes on with milkshakes in their hands. Even smiled brightly at Isak before looking him up and down. Isak felt tension enter the air as Even’s smile disappeared. Juliet cheered though, making Even look away and Isak would give _anything_ to know what he was thinking.

“Prince Issy!” She cheered, spilling some of her milkshake on herself, but she didn’t seem to mind.

“Hey, Jules,” Isak smiled, waving with his free hand. Even raised his eyebrows.

“Going somewhere?” He asked, and Isak really wished he didn’t. It felt so wrong to tell Even he was going out, especially when it was to try and forget about _him_. Isak stuttered for a moment.

“Uh, yeah… I’m just… going out with uh, my friends,” He told him, not hiding his nerves very well – or at all for that matter. Even nodded with a tight-lipped smile.

“Well, have fun,” Even said. Isak nodded and waved goodbye to Juliet before quickly striding down the hallway in the biggest steps he could manage. He let out a breath of relief once he was alone in the elevator.

“Fuck those blue eyes,” Isak sighed out.

**~~~**

Of course, the boys would ditch him to find girls, of course he would go out with them for the first time in months and not actually end up hanging out with his stupid friends. Isak sat at the bar watching Magnus get rejected _once again_. Before Isak can wallow too much, a guy walks up to him with shiny blonde hair that immediately makes Isak want to groan at the thought of Even.

“Hey, can I buy you a drink?” The blonde asked, with a smirk and Isak looks up at him. For some reason he wants to _thank god_ that this guy’s eyes were brown. He didn’t know if he could take more blue in his life. Isak agreed to the drink, mainly because he didn’t want to have to buy his own. The guy, Alex, was pretty boring, but at least he was pretty. Isak turned on his charm, especially with the help of a few more drinks from Alex.

“Why don’t we go back to your place?” Alex smirked, leaning into Isak’s space, and this point, Isak had completely forgotten about his new neighbor. He nodded drunkenly before leading the cute-not Even-boy out of the bar to wave down a cab.

Just twenty minutes later, Isak and Alex were stumbling down the hallway, laughing a little too loudly. As they get to Isak’s front door, Alex presses him against the wall and connects their lips. It’s messy and too wet but Isak’s drunk and he likes the attention Alex’s hands are providing him. Suddenly, the door across the hall swings open. Alex pulls away to look back and Isak wants to die as he looks over his shoulder to see Even’s shocked expression as he holds a tied-up Glade trash bag.

“Hi… I was just – “ Even gestures to the garbage chute at the end of the hall.

“Mhmm,” Isak hums, quickly turning to unlock the door. He shoves Alex inside of his apartment.

“Good night Isak,” Even calls out to him and Isak could _hear_ smirk on his lips.

“Good night, Even!” Isak yells before shutting the front door and leaning back on it, trying to get his breathing under control.

“Your neighbor seems nice,” Alex says as he’s invading Isak’s personal space. Isak chuckles.

“Uh, yeah, anyway,” Isak stumbles awkwardly but luckily Alex understands and grabs him by the hips.

**~~~**

The next morning, Isak woke up with a pounding headache and a half naked guy in his kitchen.

“I was going to make you breakfast, but you don’t really have anything… _edible_ … in your fridge,” Alex chuckles, sipping coffee from Isak’s favorite mug. Isak glares at him.

“Uh, I have to get to work, so you should go,” Isak says, a bit cold. He’s sober now and really regrets letting this guy sleep here.

“Oh, well I’ll drive you to work, where do you work?” Alex offers.

“No, thanks, I’m just gonna get in the shower, and when I get out, you’ll be gone. Okay? Great,” Isak says before turning around and closing the bathroom door.

~~~

His only friends, Sana, Noora, Jonas, Mahdi, and Magnus are all residents along with him. He met them in med-school and luckily, they all got into the resident program at Universitetssykehus. Some of them had picked their specialties already, like Jonas and Mahdi were going with general surgery, and Noora picked pediatric surgery. Sana and Isak were going into neurosurgery, and Magnus was still undecided. They had a month left of being interns before they were serious residents, and that was definitely weighing on them. The thirty minutes they got for lunch was about all the time they had to speak to each other, since their schedules were now packed full of studying, scrubbing in on surgeries, and taking care of the attending doctor’s patients.

“So _Isak_ …” Noora said out of nowhere. Magnus stopped his rambling about the girl he almost hooked up with last night and they all turned to Isak.

“What?” He asked, shoving mixed fruit in his mouth. Noora smirked.

“Dr. Larsen? I didn’t know he was your type…” She says. Everyone ooo’s and ahh’s but Isak just furrows his brows.

“What are you talking about? Who’s Dr. Larsen?” He asks, chewing his fruit a little furiously. He hated when his friends bugged him about his non-existent love life. Sana had her _perfect_ boyfriend Yousef, who was a kindergarten teacher, and Noora was dating one of the attending doctors ( _great idea, Noora_ ). Jonas was about to get married to his high school sweetheart, Eva. Mahdi and Magnus were constantly playing the field, but somehow, they always ended up talking about Isak’s love life, or lack thereof.

“Dr. Larsen… Alex Larsen. He’s one of the pediatric residents,” Noora says, taking a big bite from her apple. Isak’s eyes feel like they’re bugging out of his head. He swallows slowly, afraid he’ll choke if he makes any sudden movements.

“You have a crush on a _pediatric_ resident?” Magnus scoffs. Noora slaps his arm, offended.

“Uh… no,” Isak mumbles, shaking out of his shocked reaction. Noora raises her eyebrows with an obnoxious smirk.

“Well, he talked about you all morning. We were doing surgery on a preemie, and all he could talk about was how _dreamy_ Dr. Valtersen is,” Noora teases.

“Shut up,” Isak groans.

“Oh! Oh shit, is that the guy you left with last night?” Jonas blurts out. Everyone hoots like they’re watching some sports game. Isak’s cheeks turn bright red.

“ _Shut up_. It was just a hookup, I didn’t know he worked here!” Isak complained.

“You really kicked him out this morning?” Noora asked and Isak glared at her even harsher.

“It was a hookup,” Isak grumbles.

“Well, just saying, he’s a bit hung up on your hookup,” She tells him.

“Wow, Issy the heartbreaker,” Sana teases. Isak rolls his eyes. _Great_ , now his sex life is following him to work.

“Isak!” The group of interns turns from their lunch to see the very pediatric resident they were speaking about.

“Alex… Hi. I didn’t know you worked here,” Isak says, trying desperately to communicate telepathically with his friends so they don’t blurt out something stupid. Thankfully they all stay silent, for now.

“Oh, I thought I mentioned it last night…” Alex mumbles, awkwardly. Isak just stares down at his turkey sandwich. “Anyway, would you want to scrub in to a surgery later? I have a C-section at 15,” Alex says, making Noora scoff. Isak looks over at her annoyed expression.

“Yeah, sorry, I have my own patients. Maybe _Noora_ can scrub in,” Isak says and Alex nods awkwardly.

“Uh yeah. Noora?” He turns to her with a tight-lipped smile.

“Yes, I’d love to,” She says, quite unenthusiastically as she crosses her arms across her chest.

“Alright well, I’ll see you around Isak,” Alex says and Isak just hums, avoiding eye contact. Finally, Alex walks away from them and Isak looks up to see his friends staring at him.

“What’s up with you? Why don’t you wanna get with the hot pediatric surgeon?” Magnus blurts out.

“Okay, a minute ago you were saying _pediatric_ like it was a bad thing,” Isak snapped. “And anyway, Noora’s right, he’s not really my type…” He trails off.

“You don’t have a type, Issy, you’ve never even had a boyfriend,” Sana points out and Isak glares at his best friend. How dare she betray him like that? Sana laughs, a surprised laugh that has everyone staring at her. “You have a crush on someone!”

“What? No!” Isak shouts, probably a bit too loud, but he can’t believe Sana knows him _that_ well.

“You do! Who is it? A doctor? Oh no, is it a nurse?” Sana teases. Isak scoffs.

“Shut up, he doesn’t work here,” Isak blurts out. “ _No_ , I didn’t say that, there is no “ _he_ ”, I don’t have a crush!” Sana leans back in her chair, smirking up a storm. Isak glares at her.

“We’ll find out eventually,” She says, going back to flicking through her book.

“Good luck with that,” Isak grumbles, annoyed that he has to think about a certain pair of blue eyes for the rest of the day.


	4. four

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Isak can't stop bumping into Even.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry if there's some errors... I'm very tired but I want to post lol

Coming home from an 18-hour shift should be a relief. It really should. However, when there’s a very hot man with his daughter in the hallway, it doesn’t feel as good as it should. He tries his best to put on a smile, but he just lost a patient in the OR. A seven-year-old girl with a brain tumor, who looked a lot like Juliet. Isak probably would’ve thrown up right in the hallway if he hadn’t already vomited out everything in his stomach in the locker room toilet.

“Hey, Isak!” Even smiles bright and wide. “I’m having a few friends over for a drink and some pizza, you wanna join?” He asks but as Isak gets closer to him, the smile slips from his face. They just stare at each other for a minute before Isak looks over at his doorknob. He’s determined to not cry in front of Even, and that involves not even glancing at Juliet.

“I can’t,” Isak chokes out, fumbling with his keys. His key chain falls to the ground and Juliet runs to pick them up. He can’t beat her to them, she’s much closer to the ground. So next thing he knows, he’s looking down into ocean blue eyes as she holds his keys up. Isak swallows thickly, trying not to let on how nauseous he’s feeling.

“Isak? Are you alright?” Even’s voice is grounding and Isak quickly rubs at his puffy eyes. He grabs the keys from her tiny hand and quickly unlocks the door.

“Sorry, long day,” He mumbles before shutting and locking the door behind him. He slides down the door, his weak knees not doing their job. He ducks his head down, just trying to catch his breath. He shouldn’t be so involved, he’s not the type of surgeon that gets attached to patients. He’s not the type of surgeon that gets emotional. This isn’t part of his life plan. Even is just his neighbor. That’s all he’ll ever be.

**~~~**

The fact that it happens again, Even witnessing a hookup of Isak’s, is honestly a little sad. This time, it’s seven in the morning.

“ _Come on,_ Isak!” The man complains as Isak attempts to kick him out of his apartment.

“Anders, we met at a _club_ ,” Isak deadpans, “Did you really think this was anything more than a hookup?” He snaps as Anders stares at him with these dumb puppy dog eyes. Isak shoves his shirt into his arms, and that’s when his extremely hot neighbor decides to exit his apartment. Even isn’t dressed ridiculously. He’s in skinny jeans and a bright blue hoodie with a denim jacket pulled over it, and black sunglasses perched on top of his perfectly messy hair.

“Oh, hello Isak and… Isak’s _friend_ ,” Even smirks.

“Hi, I’m Anders,” and the man actually extends his hand for a hand shake. Isak wants to groan and throw his head in hands dramatically. Instead he rolls his eyes and shoves Anders’ shirt into his toned chest, a little rougher than the first time. Even just raises his eyebrows at the two of them.

“He was just leaving,” Isak snaps and Anders reluctantly puts his shirt on. He leans forward and tries to kiss Isak, but Isak turns his head away before he can succeed.

“Okay. See you around, Isak,” Anders says with a gross smirk on his face, but at least he’s walking away. Isak sighs, annoyed but relieved. He turns back to see Even looking him up and down. Suddenly Isak realizes he’s just in a pair of sweatpants… nothing else.

“Shut up,” Isak groans, running a hand over his face. Even laughs, but before he can say anything, a familiar face is coming out of Even’s apartment, along with Juliet.

“Prince Issy!” Juliet cheers, but Isak is hung up on the man with her.

“Yousef?” Isak shouts.

“Isak! Hey. Wait – “ Yousef points to Isak and looks back at Even in shock. “ _This_ Isak?”

“Yeah! He knows Sana. This is the Isak that knows Sana. Nothing else,” Even says, a bit too loudly. His eyes are wide and he’s staring at Yousef like they’re having a conversation with their eyebrows.

“Small world,” Yousef smirks, looking back at Isak.

“Yeah… weird,” Isak says, thinking how crazy it is that his best friend’s boyfriend is friends with his hot neighbor.

“Is it your day off?” Even asks, suddenly.

“Uh yeah. I already worked my eighty hours this week,” Isak scoffs. Yousef laughs.

“You and Sana,” Yousef shakes his head in disbelief, “If you weren’t gay, I’d say you were soulmates,” Isak blushes. He really should back away into his apartment before Yousef says something about the hickies and the sex hair.

“Yeah well,” Isak gestures behind him, “I better go,” He mumbles.

“Oh yeah, see ya round, Isak,” Even nods, with an annoying smirk on his face. Isak rolls his eyes before closing the door. Damnit.

**~~~**

Later that day, Isak finally feels good enough to go down to the café across from his apartment building. It’s a café he used to frequent during med-school, and honestly, it’s the reason he moved into the apartments across the street from it. Along with the tram stop right on the corner.

It’s on the corner, so there’s windows on two walls, floor to ceiling windows that are tinted from the outside. Perfect for people-watching. Not in a creepy way, just sometimes Isak needs to think and somehow, people-watching gives him some perspective. So, he doesn’t let himself bring textbooks or handbooks, or any books. Just his phone, wallet, and his key chain with only one lonely key.

The baristas know his order, so he leaves 85 krone on the counter and takes his usual seat in the corner, facing the huge windows. He stares at his key ring. It’s not just his house key, so it’s not technically lonely on his key ring, but the only other thing on it is his key card for work. Eskild tried to get him to accept a copy of the kollectiv key, just so that his key chain didn’t look so sad, but Isak didn’t want a key. He didn’t want an easy way to run away from his loneliness. It sounds stupid, but he knows if he had a key to somewhere else, somewhere with people, people who love him, why would he ever go home? He can’t tell Eskild that, but that’s his problem.

“Here you go,” The barista, Melissa says, sliding his coffee cup and strawberry danish onto his table.

“Thanks Mel,” He says, smiling kindly. He’s glad to have the distraction. He can’t really get lost in his thoughts too deeply when he’s out in public, even if he is alone, technically.

“You doing okay?” She asks, smiling sadly. Isak knows she pities him, but he hates being reminded that he’s pitiful.

“I’m fine. How are you? How’s school?” He asks, sipping from his coffee. She groans.

“It’s a pain in my arse! I don’t know how you did _six_ years of it,” Mel complains. She’s British and transferred to University of Oslo to get out of England. Isak doesn’t understand why Norway was her first choice, but he doesn’t mind practicing speaking English with her.

“How’s your boyfriend?” He asks, chuckling into his coffee mug. She groans again, even more dramatically.

“I think you’re lucky you’re single. No crazy boys driving you even crazier,” She huffs. The bell on the door dings before he gets a chance to playfully argue with her. She turns around to take the orders of the people who just walked in and _shit_. Small world indeed.

Yousef, Even, Juliet, and a few more of Even’s friends are leaning on the counter giving Mel their orders. Isak recognized a few of them and he assumed they were the friends helping Even move in a month ago. Isak tried to look down at his phone and act busy, but it was difficult to take his eyes off Even. He was holding Juliet, her legs wrapped around his waist and her arms gripping on his jean jacket. The other boys went to sit at the one big table in the café. They had laptops and tons of stacks of paper. Isak figured they must be writing something since Even said he works on films with his friends. These must be said friends.

“Hey,” Isak snaps his head to see Even leaning on his table for two. He’s got a glint in his eyes that kinda makes Isak’s chest constrict.

“Hi… again,” Isak mumbles. They’re close. Even leaning into his space, grinning at him and looking at him with those _eyes_. Isak looks around for Juliet and sees that Yousef is holding her up to read the menu to her.

“Hello, again,” Even smirks. “No strange men with you?” He teases. Isak scoffs, relaxing a bit.

“Shut up,” Isak says. “And he wasn’t… strange… just – “

“A stranger. Right?” Even says, eyebrows raised. Isak rolls his eyes at him.

“Yeah, a stranger. Jeez, just cause you aren’t getting any – “ Isak can’t even finish his insult before Even’s laughing.

“Whoa… Low blow, Isak,” Even chuckles. Isak can’t help but smile at him. They look at each other for a little longer than what is socially appropriate for two neighbors, but it isn’t awkward, even when Isak blatantly glances down at Even’s lips and Even darts his tongue out. Isak tries his best not to blush.

“What are you doing this weekend?” Even asks, voice low as he ducks his head down to break the eye contact. Isak is a bit taken back by it all.

“Uh, I’m on-call all weekend,” Isak tells him, disappointed. Even sighs but he’s got his bright smile on.

“Damn, I thought I was a workaholic,” Even jokes.

“Oh sorry, I’m too busy saving lives for you,” Isak teases back, making Even laugh beautifully.

“Yeah, you are,” Even says, sounding fond. It’s weird, Isak decides, that they’re so easy-going with each other. They’re joking and teasing each other like they’ve been friends for years. Even’s just his neighbor.

“Maybe next week I’ll be free,” Isak tells him. Even smiles.

“Good,” He nods, leaning back and looking over at his friends. “I’ll text you, okay?”

“Oh yeah,” Isak nods, completely forgetting that Even has his phone number. “Definitely,” He says, and Even nods.

“See you around,” Even smirks and walks backwards away from his table. Isak shakes his head at Even’s goofy confidence and looks back at his phone, pretending he was looking at something in the first place.

**_ Unknown number _ **

_This is me texting you. :P_

Isak laughs, shaking his head at his goofy neighbor.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> happy New Years eve, folks. hope you liked this chapter <3 thank you so much for reading.


	5. five

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Isak has a bad feeling.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you for reading!

Some days you wake up with a feeling that something is going to go wrong. You hope it’ll just be a cup of coffee spilled on your clothes and you pray it won’t be anything worse. As a surgeon, that feeling that something bad is going to happen, happens way too often to just be about the inevitable coffee stains.

Isak finds himself hoping for those coffee stains when he wakes up with this gut feeling that something terrible is going to happen today.

“I have a feeling,” He says, under his breath as Sana and him follow the group during rounds that morning.

“Shut up with your _feelings_ ,” Sana snaps. Isak huffs. “We don’t have time for feelings, Isak, we’re surgeons,” She says as they enter the next patient’s room and steps forward to present the patient’s condition. Isak stood back, zoning out a bit. His feelings were never wrong. And he didn’t have coffee stains to blame.

**~~~**

“Valtersen and Fossbakken, you’re in the ER doing sutures,” Their resident, Dr. Becken tells them. Isak sighs in relief. She glares at him. “Something you want to say, Dr. Valtersen?”

“Nothing, just… the feeling, the _bad_ feeling, it’s just ‘cause I’m stuck doing sutures with Magnus in the pit,” Isak rambles, chuckling a little at the idea that it was actually going to be a horrible day. Dr. Becken gave him her infamous death stare.

“Valtersen, Fossbakken, you better get out of my sight before I _make_ you disappear,” Dr. Becken says. Magnus and Isak look at each other, a bit terrified.

“What is that supposed to mean?” Magnus blurts out.

“Do you really wanna find out? Go!” She shouts and Magnus and Isak have never run away from her faster. They run to the ER and get to their first two patients. Magnus is suturing a women’s arm and Isak is working on a man who almost chopped his finger off.

“Is sutures with me that terrible?” Magnus asks. Isak sighs, letting a chuckle out. He finishes sewing up the man’s finger and begins to bandage it.

“It’s not that… I just had a bad feeling when I woke up,” Isak says, sighing out.

“Oh, I get that sometimes,” Magnus sighs, “Usually has something to do with my mom,” He says and Isak swallows down that thick guilty feeling. Sometimes being able to talk to Magnus about their mothers makes him feel seen and relieved that he’s not the only person in the world dealing with this. Yet, sometimes he wishes he could do his job in peace. Isak thinks back to his bad feeling, so he doesn’t have to think about his mother’s condition. Truly, sutures isn’t the worst thing that could happen but it’s slightly worse than dumping hot coffee all over your crotch. And that didn’t happen today, so this is the bad thing. Isak knows that.

Until a familiar voice is shouting out his name. In the emergency room.

“ _Isak_! I need you!”

“Sir, you have to calm down, what’s her name?”

“Juliet, it’s Juliet,”

Isak turns around fast, and suddenly he knows why he woke up with such a bad feeling in his gut. That bad feeling is back, or maybe that’s just bile crawling up his throat. Even is standing there with his daughter in his arms, her arm is covered in blood, and hanging limp by her side, and her forehead is trickling blood down Even’s white shirt.

“Even…” Isak murmurs, and now he can’t even believe he thought this bad feeling might be some coffee stains. _Fucking coffee stains._

The only attending doctor around is Dr. Fiske, the hospital’s orthopedist, ironically. She carefully pulls Juliet from Even’s arms and put her on a stretcher.

“Valtersen, take her to trauma room 1, go,” Dr. Fiske shouts. She shouts for someone to page the neuro specialist but Isak can’t move. Magnus jumps into action, pushing Juliet’s stretcher into the trauma room but Isak can’t move.

“Isak! Go!” Another doctor shouts. He stares at Even, his shirt covered in blood. This wasn’t supposed to happen today.

Quickly, Isak turns away and runs into the trauma room where Juliet is lying motionless.

“Is she okay?” Isak begs, as he tries his best to do his job and inspect her head injury. She's unconscious.

“Isak, get it together,” Magnus snaps. Isak didn't even realize he was short of breath. 

“I… I don’t know if I can be here,” Isak admits. Magnus glares at him.

“What’s wrong with you?” He asks. “Page Dr. Bakkoush, and order a CT,” He tells someone in the room, but Isak isn’t there. His mind isn’t there. “Get him out of here,” Magnus snaps, and suddenly Isak is being shoved out of the room.

“Isak,” He spins around to see Even standing right where they left him, looking down at his hands. The nurse next to him is trying to ask questions, she’s trying to get him to calm down, but Isak can tell it’s not working. He runs over and leads Even to the closest bed in the ER. “Isak, I didn’t mean to – “

“It’s not your fault, Even,” Isak says calmly, cleaning up all the blood and checking Even out for any injuries.

“I shouldn’t have let her take the training wheels off, I just thought she was ready. I thought it’d be okay, but… but I don’t know. I’ve never done this… I’m not a dad, I’m not supposed to be a dad!” Even’s rambling, he’s in shock, and Isak feels like throwing up.

“Stop,” Isak snaps and he knows he shouldn’t but he can’t exactly help it. “Just…” Isak takes a deep breath after assessing that Even has no injuries. “Just answer these questions,” He says and takes the clipboard away from the nurse. He asks Even every question until Sana is coming out of that trauma room.

“Sana!” Even practically trips over Isak trying to get to her. She puts her hands up, stopping him.

“Don’t. She’s okay, she’ll be fine, but I’m mad at you,” Sana says, crossing her arms over her chest and glaring at him. Not a playful glare, a serious glare that Isak rarely sees out of Sana.

“Sana… I just… I was teaching her how to ride a bike,” Even sobs, finally letting himself cry. Sana nods, finally letting him hug her.

“Call his family,” She says to a nurse nearby. The nurse takes the clipboard from Isak and runs off to call Even’s family. Isak felt glued to the spot. His shoes were filled with lead, he was sure of it. Why else wasn’t he able to move?

A few minutes passed before Sana stepped away from Even and looked over at Isak. “Come here,” She mumbled and led them to the trauma room. Juliet had an oxygen mask on, but the blood was gone, and her eyes were open. “Mostly superficial wounds, and a concussion but we’ve ordered a CT, but she’ll be okay. She’s awake now which is good. We set her arm so she’ll need a cast but luckily it was a clean break. She's very brave.”

Even stared at his daughter, mouth agape. He walked over to her head, carefully hovering his hand over her hair. Isak watches him crouch down and just stare at her. Sana grabs Isak’s arm and pulls him out of the room.

“What the hell was that, Isak?” Sana snaps. “Magnus says you froze up, you don’t do that, _you_ don’t freeze,”

“Shut up,” Isak mumbled, eyes focused on the closed blinds in the trauma room. “I just… know them,”

“You know Even? How would you know Even?” Sana asks, putting her hands on her hips. Isak really wishes she could stop the tough doctor act and just comfort him, but he knows that now isn’t the time. He’s not really the one who needs comfort.

“He’s my neighbor,” Isak tells her, finally looking back to see her face. She furrows her brows, staring at him curiously.

“Just your neighbor?” Sana asks, “Wait… you _talk_ to your neighbor?”

“Please, just shut up and either let me go help Even or give me something else to do,” Isak finally snaps. Sana jumps a little at his voice and he feels bad for sounding so sharp and angry but this wasn’t supposed to happen. He wasn’t supposed to see Even in the emergency room. He wasn’t supposed to see Juliet like that. He was supposed to get coffee stains on his favorite sweater and _that_ was supposed to be the bad thing that happened. Coffee stains on his favorite sweater.

“Patient in room 232 needs to be prepped for surgery,” Sana gives him orders with an emotionless tone but when Isak looks back at her face, he sees something in her eyes. Something like compassion or maybe pity. Isak just nods and makes his way to the elevator.

**~~~**

“Um, can you tell me where a patient is?” Isak isn’t exactly good at faking confidence. He’s supposed to be up in the pediatric unit, pretending like he’s _supposed_ to be here, so that he can check on Juliet. He’s not doing the best job.

“Aren’t you a _surgical_ intern?” The nurse snaps, rolling his eyes and Isak.

“Just tell me where Juliet and her dad are,” Isak huffs and luckily the nurse must’ve seen the pleading look in his eyes.

“Patient room 511, they’re waiting for CT results,” The nurse sighs, handing Isak her chart. Isak sighs in relief and practically runs down the hall. He opens up her chart just as he walks into the room.

“Bech Naesheim,” Isak says as he stops in the doorway. Even spins around and smiles in relief. Isak feels a rush of relief as well when he sees Juliet and Even smiling at him. “Doing okay?”

“Hi Prince Issy,” Juliet says, waving at him with her good arm. He sets the chart down on the bedside table.

“How are you feeling, princess Juliet?” Isak asks, doing a checkup.

“Look, I got a cast!” She squeals and Isak looks at her cast that’s elevated on a pillow on her chest. It’s white. “It’s white so Daddy can color it,” Isak smiles softly at Even, who’s sitting on the end of the bed.

“Is your family on the way?” Isak asks him. Even sighs.

“Yeah. I told them to take their time though since she’s fine. She is fine right? You didn’t come in here to tell me bad news, _right_?” Even tries his best to smile, but Isak knows he’s scared. He rests a hand on Even’s shoulder.

“She’s going to be okay. We’re waiting on CT scan results but she’s awake and talking, so she should be fine,” Isak reassures him. Even nods. “Juliet, does anything hurt?”

“No, I’m a big girl,” Juliet smiles and Isak chuckles at her.

“Yes, you are,” Isak hums, going back to her chart.

“Isak, what are you doing here?” Isak looks to the door to see Alex, of course. He sighs, looking over at Even. “This isn’t your patient,”

“No, they’re my friends, Dr. Larsen. Do you have her CT results?” Isak asks, closing Juliet’s chart again. Alex clenches his jaw in annoyance. He turns to Even and Even quickly stands up and extends a hand.

“Even, nice to meet you Dr. Larsen,” He says. Alex shakes his hand briefly.

“Dr. Valtersen was just leaving,” Alex says, grabbing the chart, “Sorry for the intrusion Mr. Bech Naesheim,”

“He doesn’t have to – “ Even tries, but Isak doesn’t need to get in any more trouble today.

“I’ll see you later, Even,” Isak tells him, attempting a smile. “See ya Jules,”

“Bye Issy!”

Isak quickly leaves the room and makes his way down to the intern’s locker room. He needs a minute. Thankfully it’s empty when he gets there and he can splash water on his face in peace. This is too much. This is why he doesn’t have a life, he can’t handle it. He can’t handle thinking about things other than work. He can’t get attached to people who are barely in his life, this isn’t part of his plan. Now he’s sitting on the floor in a hospital locker room, and that wasn’t really a part of his plan either.

**~~~**

His shift ends at 19, but he can’t go home just yet. He changes into a sweatshirt and jeans before making his way up to the pediatric unit. Room 511 is a lot busier than it was a few hours ago. Even and Juliet are sitting side by side in the hospital bed with what seems like Even’s entire family surrounding them. There are ten balloons tied to the end of the bed and a couple giant stuffed animals.

Isak knocks on the open door, making the room fall silent. “Hey,” He says. Even should’ve smiled, but he didn’t, he just nodded in place of a greeting. Even climbed off the bed and walked over to Isak.

“Can we talk in the hall?” Even asks, quite seriously. Isak feels his heart pound in his throat.

“Is something wrong with – “ He starts to ask but Even just guides him into the hall and closes the door behind him. It’s silent in the hallway, and Isak hates it. “What’s wrong?” Isak asks, eyebrows furrowed harshly.

“Your boyfriend is my daughter’s doctor…” Even says with raised eyebrows. Isak chuckles but Even just stares at him.

“What are you talking about? I don’t have a – oh. Dr. Larsen,” Isak shoves his head into his hands. “ _Fuck_ ,” Isak runs his hands through his hair before looking back at Even. “He’s _not_ my boyfriend and that’s really inappropriate of him to tell you that.”

“Yeah, well, he thinks you’re his boyfriend but I know that you bring a different man into your apartment every weekend. So, are you the kind of guy to lead people on, Isak?” Even asks him, and Isak really doesn’t understand why he seems to angry about this.

“Why do you even care?” Isak blurts out. “You’re my neighbor.”

“Yeah,” Even laughs and it sounds bitter and angry.

“I didn’t mean it like that,” Isak tries, wishing he didn’t say that at all. He wishes they weren’t even having this conversation. “I just meant…”

“Whatever Isak,” Even says, holding his hands up and shaking his head. “I don’t even know why I try,” He mumbles before going back into the room and closing the door behind him. Isak stares at the door for a moment in complete confusion. What just happened?

Isak is racking his brain trying to figure out what just happened but all he can think about is how mad he is at stupid Alex Larsen.

**~~~**

“Valtersen, Saetre, you two are with Dr. Larsen,” Dr. Becken tells them the next morning during rounds. Isak huffs, jaw clenched in annoyance. Noora and him make their way up to pediatrics before Becken can yell at Isak for complaining.

“What’s up with you?” Noora asks.

“Just give me a minute to talk to Alex,” Isak mumbles as they walk up to the nurse’s station where Alex is looking over charts.

“Ah, my interns,” Alex says, smirking at the two of them.

“Can I talk to you?” Isak says, and pulls him aside before Alex can say no. “I don’t know what you thought that night was, but it was just a hookup. I’m not your boyfriend and I’m not interested in being your boyfriend. I don’t want to be anything more than a hookup to you,”

Alex stared at him for a minute before nodding. “Sorry. Wishful thinking got the better of me,” He admits and Isak just nods.

“Okay. So, what are we doing today?” He asks, gesturing to Noora. Thankfully, Alex seems to let it go. 

**~~~**

Isak got through his 48-hour shift and got home at seven, just in time to run into Even and Juliet in the hallway.

“Issy!” Juliet cheered, waving with her bulky white cast that was now covered in stickers and colorful drawings.

“Hey, how are you?” He asked her, relieved to see the two of them.

“She’s doing good,” Even answers, opening the door and carefully nudging Juliet inside, “Why don’t you go say hi to all your toys? They missed you,” Even tells her and she skips off to her room.

“Even, can we please talk about whatever that was?” Isak blurts out before Even can shut the door. Even spins around with a new expression on his face. An expression Isak’s never seen.

“Did you read her chart?” Even says suddenly. Isak shakes his head with a confused expression.

“I glanced, I guess… but… what do you mean?” Isak tells him, and that new expression melts off Even’s face. “Even, I just wanted to apologize if Alex was being a dick or something. I made it clear to him that it was just a hookup,”

Even stands in the doorway of his apartment, just looking at Isak for a minute. Isak can’t even begin to understand what’s happening between them, but he just doesn’t want whatever they have to be over.

“Yeah, I get that,” Even says and Isak doesn’t feel any less confused. “We’re good. We’re friends.”

“Friends?” Isak can’t help but smile a bit. Even scoffs, face finally breaking into a smile.

“You’re a pretty big cliché, you know that, right?” Even chuckles at Isak’s offended face. “The serious, brooding doctor that has no time for friends. _Such_ a cliché,” He muses. Isak rolls his eyes.

“You’re such an idiot,” Isak laughs. “But you’re right, I have no time for friends.”

They stare at each other for a moment, Even with his goofy smile and Isak with bags under his glossy eyes. “You look tired,” Even finally says, voice low and intimate sounding.

“Thanks,” Isak says sarcastically. He sighs out a big breath of air, “I should go,”

“Yeah,” Even nods but at least he’s smiling now. “See you later,”

“Yeah, see you later,” Isak says before turning to unlock his door. Even shuts his front door and then Isak’s alone again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> by the way, I might make a part 2 where it's the same story but from Even's point of view... let me know what you think.


	6. six

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Isak and Sana talk.

“Your apartment is quite sad,” Sana muses, throwing her books on Isak’s cluttered dining room table.

“Thanks, Sanasol, always an optimist,” Isak says sarcastically. Sana rolls her eyes before going to make herself some tea in his sad kitchen.

“So, are we gonna talk about Even and that whole situation?” She asks. Isak sighs as he tries to clear his table a bit.

“What _situation_?” He asks.

“Issy, I’ve known you and Even separately for a very long time… and honestly, it was _weird_ seeing you together,” Sana laughs.

“Yeah, that whole thing was so funny, wasn’t it Sana?” He snaps and Sana shushes him. She actually shushes him. Isak rolls his eyes.

“No. It wasn’t funny. But Isak, I’ve never seen you like that,” Sana says. Isak shakes his head.

“What are you talking about?”

“You can’t get anything past me, Valtersen,” She says and Isak shuts up. “You have feelings for Even?” Isak just stays silent, deliberating between telling her the truth or saving face. Telling her the truth involves admitting weakness. He can’t have feelings in his life plan. He didn’t plan for this.

“I don’t know,” He tells her, and he thinks that’s the truth. Sana sighs, pouring two cups of tea even though she knows Isak won’t drink it. He needs something to do with his hands, so when she hands him the warm cup, he holds it for a minute.

“He’s a good guy,” Sana finally says, which surprises Isak.

“I thought you were going to go on some tirade about how I need to get myself together. How _feelings_ are going to jeopardize my career,” Isak mumbles.

“I think it’d be a bit selfish to tell you that _you_ can’t be in a relationship when _I_ am,” Sana admits. Isak looks up at her as she sips her tea. He looks at her curiously.

“You and Yousef are different,” He tells her. Sana just shakes her head.

“Even is a great guy… If you have feelings for him, you should go for it,” She says, a knowing smirk on her face.

“Sana, I appreciate that, but he has a daughter. He’s _very_ clearly straight,” Isak says. He sets his tea cup down and starts flipping through his flash cards. Sana scoffs.

“That’s very biphobic of you, Isak,” She chuckles. Isak looks up at her, surprised. “Well, panphobic actually,”

“Huh?”

“Even likes boys too, so just go for it, alright? I’m done spelling things out for you,” Sana says, trying to end the conversation. “You know, you’re pretty dumb for a doctor,”

“And you’re pretty annoying, for a doctor,” Isak bites back, with a teasing smile. Sana gives him one last smirk before they change the subject.

**~~~**

The laundry room in the basement is not a very comfortable place, to put it lightly. It’s dingy and smells musty. Isak is usually in and out. He doesn’t have much time to be hanging out in the laundry room, and yet here he is, standing outside the laundry room, listening in on a conversation between a grown man and a four-year-old little girl.

He’s been standing here for five minutes, listening to Even and Juliet talk about nothing. He just likes hearing their voices, which he knows is pretty creepy, but he can’t help it. He’s been trying to move for the past five minutes, but he can’t bring himself to interrupt their conversation. They were talking about getting a puppy one day. Isak couldn’t stand the fact that he _has_ to interrupt, but he really needed to put his laundry in the wash.

After ten minutes of just standing there, Isak takes a deep breath and turns the corner.

“Hey, Isak,” Even greets when they see him.

“Hey, what’s up?” He says, trying not to smile so wide.

“Just waiting for our stuff to finish,” Even says. Juliet nods, sitting on top of the washing machine they were using. She’s playing with different blobs of colorful Play-Doh.

“It’s not very comfortable down here…” Isak mumbles. Even laughs.

“Well, last time we left our clothes, someone threw them on the ground because I forgot to set a timer,” Even says, sounding like he’s still annoyed. “So, we’re gonna wait here,”

“Good idea,” Isak tells him, dumping his hamper into the washing machine next to the one Even's using.

“So, how have you been? I haven’t seen you in a little bit,” Even says. Isak starts the washing machine and jumps up to sit on top like Juliet.

“I’ve been working, which reminds me, do you _actually_ have a job?” Isak teases and thankfully it makes Even laugh instead of turning out to be the wrong thing to say.

“I do, I can work from home though. That’s why you see me so often. Were you getting tired of seeing my _beautiful_ face?” Even teases right back. Isak can’t help the girly giggle that comes out of his throat.

“Yeah, you and your Crocs,” Isak says, looking down at Even’s bright lime green Crocs on his socked feet. It’s not the best comeback but Isak can’t really think with Even’s eyes looking at him and his smile making his brain feel cloudy.

“Oh, you don’t like my Crocs?"

"They practically burn my eyes,"

"Juliet, can you believe this?” Even scoffed, pretending to be _so offended_. Juliet and Isak laugh at his drama as Even put his hand to his head like he’s a princess. “I can’t believe this, someone with _absolutely_ _no_ style has accosted me!”

“I don’t think you know what accosted means,” Isak laughs. Even stands up straight and glares at him, playfully.

“Whatever, I was trying to insult you,” Even jokes. Isak feels like he’s never felt this good being in the disgusting laundry room.

“I know I have no style, you don’t have to say it,” He says, “I practically live in scrubs,”

“Well at least you look cute in your scrubs,” Even blurts out and he stares right at Isak when he says it. Isak can’t believe how fast his cheeks feel hot and suddenly his shoes are much more interesting. He stares at his ratty converse, not wanting to look up at Even’s bright blue eyes.

“Shut up, no I don’t,” Isak mumbles when he realizes Even isn’t going to say anything.

“Yeah, you’re right, you look disgusting,” Even says and Isak looks up to see his goofy smile. He can’t help but grin at him before rolling his eyes dramatically. They stayed there as they did their laundry, in that musty basement. Isak watched as Juliet danced around the concrete floor, slipping on her socks and holding onto Even’s hands as she spun around. He hates that he’s reminded of his conversation with Sana. He could have this, he could have something to fill that void. Something to fill that empty two-bedroom apartment.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you for reading! sorry this was kinda a short chapter. subscribe or bookmark so that you can see when I update!


	7. seven

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Isak does a lot of studying.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you for all your nice comments on my update. I'm still coping, but it might take me a few more days to post the next chapter. I really hope I can update for you guys, cause I love this story too. anyway, here's chapter seven. thank you so much for reading.

Waking up at a cluttered dining room table isn’t exactly how Isak planned to spend his day off this week. He couldn’t help it, falling asleep studying had become the only way he fell asleep these days. His brain felt filled to the brim. He kind of felt like he was going to break down and that’s all because in just one week, he’ll be taking the intern exam to become an official resident.

Peeling his face off his open textbook, he realized what woke him up. Someone was banging at his door. Quickly, Isak shot up and assessed his state of dress. Pants, he needed pants. He was in a hoodie and boxers but no pants, and there were no pants nearby. Shit.

“Isak!” A voice shouted. _There’s no time for pants._

Isak swung his front door open to see Even and Juliet. _Maybe there was some time for pants_.

“Shit,” Isak cursed. Even huffed.

“Please tell me it’s your day off,” Even pleaded and suddenly Isak realized how frantic Even looked. Juliet was dressed in boring, normal, everyday clothing.

“What’s wrong?” Isak asked, trying to read every expression that was flitting across Even’s face.

“I have to go to work. I completely forgot, I lost track of the days, I just wasn’t thinking. Now I have to go to work and I have no one to watch her,” Even sighs deeply, closing his eyes, “Fucking huge family, and no one is around to take care of her,”

“It’s okay, Even, go to work,” Isak tells him, trying to figure out how to comfort him. Even looks exhausted and strung out, like he hasn’t slept in days and now he’s saying he just lost track of time. Isak doesn’t really understand.

“Okay. Okay. Thank you, Isak, seriously. You can just come to our apartment, that’ll be easier,” Even rambles, a look of relief finally settling on his face. He looks Isak up and down and then turns around. “I’ll let you get dressed first,” He says.

“Oh, right!” Isak shuts the door and runs to his room to attempt to put himself together. After brushing his teeth for about five seconds and pulling on a pair of jeans, he’s standing in Even’s doorway.

“Are you gonna come in?” Juliet asks, putting her hands on her hips. Isak chuckles nervously.

“You’re a smartass,”

“No cursing!” Even shouts from what Isak assumes is his room. Even comes out in a black leather jacket and quickly kisses Juliet on the forehead. “Be good,” He says to Juliet. “Thank you, Isak,” and then he’s walking out the front door looking like a pin-up of James fucking Dean.

“Wait!” Isak shouts. Even stops before he turns to walk down the hall.

“Isak, I’m gonna be late,” Even huffs.

“What if I need… something?” Isak asks nervously. He’s never looked after a _child_ before.

“Call Yousef, I’ll text you his number,” Even says and then he’s on his way to work. Isak shuts the front door before turning around to stare at Juliet.

“I’m hungry… and I don’t wanna wear this,” Juliet pouts, gesturing to her baggy jeans. Isak huffs.

**~~~**

It’s not as bad as he thought it would be. Juliet is a good kid and she actually eats a healthy breakfast once Isak lets her change into some Disney princess costume. However, he’s a bit anxious about studying and Even hasn’t texted him back about when he’s off work. It’s already 14 and Juliet wasn’t telling him if she’s supposed to take a nap.

Reluctantly, Isak dials Yousef’s number while Juliet’s watching Moana. After a few rings, Yousef finally answered.

“Hello?”

“It’s Isak… Uh, Sana’s friend… and Even’s friend, too, I guess,” Isak stutters.

“Is Sana alright?” Yousef asks, frantically.

“What? No. I mean, yes! She’s fine, I think, but I’m not calling about her. I’m babysitting Juliet,” Isak tries to explain. He’s pathetic at this thing. This… communicating thing. This having friends thing. This having a life outside of the hospital thing. He’s pathetic.

“Okay… Is she alright?” Yousef asks, sounding a lot more confused than concerned.

“Well, I think so. Even forgot he had to go to work, so he asked me to watch her, but it was all kind of sudden, and he never told me when he’s coming back. So, like… I have to study. And – and, Juliet won’t tell me if she’s supposed to take a nap,” Isak rambles. He rambles when he’s nervous. Yousef laughs which makes Isak calm down a bit, only because he’s too confused to be nervous. “Why are you laughing?”

“Just… chill out, Isak. Turn off the TV, read her a book and she should fall right to sleep. I’ll be done around 16 and I’ll come take over so you can get back to your studying,” Yousef says.

“Really?”

“Yeah, it’s no problem,” Yousef reassures him. Isak lets out a breath of air. “You know, Even made you out to be a very cool, calm, and collected doctor.”

“Huh?”

“Even. He talks about you constantly,” Yousef chuckles. He laughs! While Isak is having heart palpitations, Yousef is _chuckling_. The audacity of some people.

“Oh,” That’s all Isak can say. Even _talks_ about him. What does that mean? What does he say? _He thinks I’m cool?!_ Isak can’t believe this. Thoughts are running rapid in his head, telling him things he really shouldn’t get his hopes up about.

“It’s kind of… weird. Even’s the most hopeless romantic I’ve ever met and… I _shouldn’t_ be telling you this,” Yousef laughs again. Isak feels like _he’s_ going to need a fucking doctor. “Just, don’t mention I said anything to you about… him. He’ll kill me.”

“Oh… okay,” Isak says, trying to calm himself down.

“See you later,” Yousef chuckles before hanging up. Isak stands there for a minute to catch his breath. Even talks about him. Isak tries to tell himself that maybe Even’s just one of those people who talk a lot about their friends. He’ll think about the other reasons Even may talk about him later.

He finally gets Juliet to take a nap and sneaks off to his apartment to grab his books. He comes right back and sets his stuff on Even’s coffee table. After an hour of studying different surgeries and vocab terms, there’s a soft knock at the door. He answers the door to see Yousef and Sana.

“Oh, hey,” Isak raises his eyebrows at Sana.

“I heard you needed to study,” Sana smirks, holding up her trusty flashcards. Isak grins. Yousef walks in past the two of them.

“You two can’t take _one_ day off, can you?” Yousef sighs, peeking into Juliet’s bedroom. She’s sound asleep still, so he closes the door and relaxes on the loveseat. Sana drags Isak to the couch and they sit across from Yousef.

“Quiz us,” She says, shoving her flashcards at her boyfriend. Yousef sighs, but he does it anyway.

**~~~**

A couple hours later, Juliet is coloring while watching Isak and Sana fight to prove who’s smarter. Yousef’s reading out questions like he’s a game show host and the two of them pretend to buzz in to answer. Even walks in, toeing off his shoes as he watches everyone in his living room.

“What is enucleation?” Yousef asks. Sana buzzes in at light speed.

“Removal of an eyeball!” She shouts and Isak groans. Even laughs and everyone looks at him.

“Hi, Daddy!” Juliet smiles, waving at him. Even waves back.

“Hi everyone. Isak, I didn’t know you’d need an army for one girl. Was she good?” Even walks into his apartment, leaning down to kiss Juliet on the head.

“She was an angel,” Isak answers, feeling a lot less nervous with Sana and Yousef here. “I just needed to study so they came to my rescue,”

“You don’t ever get a day off, do you?” Even teases, sitting on the floor next to his daughter. He pulls her into a hug but she squirms away to continue coloring.

“The intern exam is next Wednesday, Even. The fate of our entire careers relies on us acing this exam,” Sana emphasizes.

“Well then what are you doing? Get back to studying!” Even jokes, gesturing to Yousef to continue with the game. Isak couldn’t believe he was actually having fun, completely sober, and _studying flashcards_ , for God’s sake. He was laughing harder than he had laughed in a long time and he felt like he had friends. It felt a bit surreal, but a good surreal. It felt like a daydream he often had to keep himself from dying of loneliness late at night. And maybe that daydream involved Even being his _person_ , like Yousef was Sana’s _person_ , but that’s why it’s a daydream.

**~~~**

They might as well live in the hallway, Isak and Even, because it seems like that’s they’re meeting spot at this point. Isak is shutting his front door behind him, heading out to get breakfast at the café across the street before work, when Juliet and Even emerge from their apartment. Isak almost wants to laugh.

“This is the third day this week you’ve ambushed me in the hallway,” He jokes, loving the feeling when Even laughs at him. Why does anyone do drugs when they could just make cute boys laugh?

“I’m starting to suspect you placed hidden cameras in my apartment,” Even says, as they walk down the corridor together. Isak laughs at him.

“You wish,” He teases. Even hums and takes a moment before speaking. Isak watches his profile.

“Speaking of… apartments,” He starts awkwardly, “You haven’t had any _guests_ for a while,” Isak chuckles nervously. He hadn’t really thought about his lack of one-night-stands.

“Yeah, guess not. Is that a diss?” Isak tries to joke, but he feels his heart beating in his throat. What was Even getting at?

“No, just… does that mean, like, you’ve got a boyfriend now? Since you haven’t… you know,” Even chokes out. Isak is honestly a bit shocked, he hasn’t seen this fumbling, not-suave, version of Even. They step into the elevator and he lets Juliet presses the button for the lobby.

“I don’t have a boyfriend,” Isak finally says, looking over at Even. He still won’t look over at him, staring ahead at the elevator doors. Even gives a little nod.

“Because you’re so busy,” He says, like he’s answering his own questions. Isak shrugs with a “hmpf” kind of noise.

“I’m always busy… just haven’t really wanted a hookup recently,” Isak says, feeling like Even’s normal confidence has transferred to him, leaving Even a stuttering mess.

“Oh,” Even says, with a little nod. Isak can’t help but smirk, turning to face the elevator doors. He feels Even’s gaze on his face. “Don’t look so fucking smug,” Even mutters and Isak tries not to laugh so hard.

“Daddy, no bad words,” Juliet chastises, tugging on Even’s hand that she’s holding.

“You’re right, I’m sorry,” He tells her, ruffling her hair. Isak smiles at the two of them. Today they’re both wearing overalls, Even’s are a sunflower yellow and Juliet’s are sky blue. Somehow, even in a yellow jumpsuit, Even ends up looking hot.

“Where are you guys’ headed?” Isak asks as the elevator doors open and they walk out to the lobby.

“To the park!” Juliet cheers.

“You wanna get breakfast with me? On me?” He offers, gesturing to the café as they left the lobby.

“Jules?” Even looks down at her and she nods enthusiastically. “Sure, why not?”

Isak grins at him as they cross the street. Thankfully, Mel is behind the counter.

“Usual?” She asks, smirking at him but looking like she wants to ask how he has actual friends.

“Yup, and whatever they want,” He smiles, waiting for Even and Juliet to order. Isak checks his watch and decides he can spare thirty minutes to eat breakfast with his neighbors. Isak pays and they sit down at a table for four.

“Thanks, Isak,” Even says with a grin and Isak catches him nudge Juliet.

“Thank you Issy,” She says, smiling all wide.

“How’s your arm doing?” He asks her. She frowns and lifts her cast onto the table, acting like it weighs twenty pounds.

“It’s itchy, and now Daddy won’t let me skate,” She pouts.

“Well we can’t have you breaking another limb, can we?” Even teases, giving her a tight side hug. Juliet giggles as he tickles her sides. Isak basks in their happiness.

“Here you go, enjoy,” Mel says as she brings a tray full of their drinks and food. Isak thanks her and she winks. He rolls her eyes at her lack of subtlety. They all eat and drink together, until Isak has to leave.

“I better get going,” Isak announces, making the two of them pout dramatically. Isak laughs at them, shaking his head, “I’m sure I’ll see you in the hallway later,” He says.

“Meet you there,” Even winks and Isak tries his best to control the heat rushing to his cheeks.

“Bye, Issy!” Juliet says, oblivious to their obvious flirting. Isak waved goodbye and left with a sweetness in his mouth. Maybe it was just from the strawberry danish, but he likes to think it’s something like happiness lingering on his tongue.

**~~~**

The night before the exam, Noora, Magnus, Mahdi, Jonas, and Sana are all camped out in Isak’s apartment with him. They’re all taking turns playing a game called Hot Seat, where they sit in a chair and answer as many questions they can until they get one wrong. Then whoever answers correctly replaces them in a seat. It’s quite competitive. Isak is surprised his friends haven’t killed him and Sana yet. 

They had been at it for a few hours when there was a knock at the door.

“Noora, get the door,” Sana demands. Noora huffs, but no one else moves as they continue to quiz Sana, so she gets up to answer the door.

“This isn’t even my place,” Noora grumbles before answering the door.

“Heyyy!” Yousef and Even come in cheering with a couple cases of beer and a stack of pizza boxes.

“Oh, thank God,” Magnus sighs in relief. “I’m starving.”

They all agree to take a small break for dinner. Even gets introduced to everyone and Yousef greets everyone like he hasn’t seen them in months. They all grab their pizza and drinks and settle into Isak’s living room. Yousef and Sana squeeze together on the couch and Even and Isak sit on the other side. Everyone else sits on the floor, surrounding the coffee table. Isak turns to Even as his friends all start complaining about another intern Isak doesn’t really know.

“Where’s Juliet?” He asks, curious.

“She’s with my mom and dad, they’ve been dying to babysit,” Even smiles, throwing an arm over the back of the couch that Isak’s resting against. Isak can’t help but lean into Even’s personal space and he really doesn’t notice that he’s doing it.

“Well, now you’re stuck helping a bunch of nerds study,” Isak teases, taking a big bite of pizza.

“Perfect,” Even grins. Isak lets out a laugh and turns back to his friends to see them pretending not to be staring at him. Isak raises his eyebrows at Jonas, confused.

“So, Even, you’re Yousef’s friend?” Jonas asks, sounding oddly suspicious.

“Yeah, we’ve known each other since…” Even looks over at Yousef. They both shrug and chuckle. “I don’t even know, it’s been forever. But, I met Isak like a few weeks ago. I live across the hall,”

“Oh,” Jonas nods. “Interesting,”

“Is it?” Even laughs, taking a sip of his beer. Isak looks at Jonas, trying to meet his eyes but Jonas just keeps looking between him and Even.

“No, nothing,” Jonas shrugs and then turns to Mahdi to ask “Who do you think will fail tomorrow?” and then they’re all back to normal conversation. Isak joins in, despite the weird tension just a moment ago. He feels Even’s gaze on him the whole time, but he doesn’t really mind it.

**~~~**

Once the night comes to a close, most people leave Isak’s apartment, except Even and Jonas. Isak starts cleaning up the mess his friends made.

“I’m gonna go to the bathroom,” Jonas says and Isak nods. Jonas leaves the living room and then it’s just him and Even, clearing beer cans from his coffee table.

“You need more furniture,” Even says, out of nowhere. Isak chuckles.

“I don’t need more furniture,” He says, voice soft. Even smiles at him as they go to the kitchen to discard of the cans. Isak can’t really figure out why Even is still here, helping him clean, but his smile is gentle and soft, so how can he complain about that?

“Your friends are cool,” Even tells him as they empty beer into the sink before tossing the cans in the recycling bin. Isak smiles.

“They’re idiots,” Isak says, lovingly. Even’s _very_ close to him right now, and Isak doesn’t know what to do about it. He throws away the last can and then they’re just standing in front of each other in Isak’s dimly lit kitchen. “Thanks for coming over, it was fun,” He says, mainly because he couldn’t think of anything else to say but also because he meant it. He can’t help but love having Even around.

“Yeah, I’m glad I came,” Even smiles, and his voice is so soft and his lips are so close. Isak barely has to move his eyes to glance down at Even’s lips, pink and looking pillowy-soft. Isak inhales sharply when Even makes the slightest head movement to move closer to him.

“Hey, Is, can I just stay over tonight?” Jonas calls out from the hallway, and suddenly Isak and Even are two feet apart. They both let out a shaky exhale. Jonas walks into the kitchen and looks between the two of them, curiously.

“Uh, yeah, of course,” Isak stutters out, wiping his sweaty palms on his jeans. Even clears his throat awkwardly and gestures to the door.

“Um, I’ll see you later,” He says to Isak before making his way to the door.

“Yeah, see ya,” Isak says, waving awkwardly. Even lets out a chuckle, shaking his head before closing the front door.

“Yo, what was that?” Jonas asks as soon as Even’s gone. Isak laughs, running his hand through his messy hair.

“I don’t know,” He says.

“That’s the guy, isn’t it?” Jonas asks, but Isak doesn’t even know why he makes it a question when he knows that Jonas knows. Isak sighs, not even trying to defend himself. “He’s hot,” Jonas admits.

“Shut up,” Isak laughs, punching Jonas’ shoulder.

**~~~**

It’s not like Isak was nervous about his exam, but having to wait two days to hear the results didn’t make him feel very good. The interns were given their results in the locker room at the end of their shift on Friday, and thank god, him and his friends passed.

They stood in silence, just smiling at the papers announcing that they would become resident doctors.

“Woo! Party at our place!” Magnus cheered, breaking the happy silence. Everyone joined in, cheering and congratulating everyone. “Invite everyone you want,” Magnus added.

Isak felt a weird feeling in his stomach. These weird butterflies, just because he immediately got excited about inviting Even. He had someone to invite, and someone to tell his exam results to. He never expected that feeling would feel so damn good.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I won't delete my update just in case anyone's missed it. I know it's not any details but I just needed to explain myself. I hope I can update by the end of this week. love you guys, thank you again for all your nice messages. 
> 
> also, you can find me on Tumblr, user tooomuchcoffee..
> 
> love you guys xoxo ally


	8. eight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things fall apart.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I messed up… I mentioned that Jonas and Eva are engaged in chapter 3… and I forgot about that… so it’s kinda weird that Jonas is living with Mahdi and Magnus, but just pretend Eva lives with them too now, just temporarily! I’m sorry! I plan to go back and edit up all the chapters and make them better when the story is completed..
> 
> also I'm very tired, sad, broke, and second semester of college started last week so sorry if there's errors, I tried my best. I hope you enjoy.

Waking up that morning, Isak felt oddly relaxed. He had exactly seventeen days off from work before he went back as a resident, and he felt so ready for a break right about now. He laid in bed, thinking of the day he had ahead. Even invited him over for lunch with Yousef and his other friends and Isak was going to invite them to the party that night. For once he wasn’t anxious to get back to studying and fighting to keep himself at the top of his class. He was confident, and he could do this, he knew that. So what if he sang in the shower because of that very confidence? He could do whatever he wanted. After all, he lived alone.

At lunch, he stepped out into the hallway and stood there for a second. Suddenly, all his morning confidence disappeared and was replaced with a stomach full of butterflies. Butterflies that were making him feel a little sick and making his palms clammy with sweat. He took a deep breath before knocking on the door. As soon as he knocked he realized how fucking awkward this was. He was about to have lunch with his neighbor that he’s known for about a month, with all of his neighbor’s best friends that he barely knows. Actually, he’s never even met most of them. How fucking awkward. Why did he agree to this? He feels wildly overdressed even in his jeans, backwards Yankees hat and a long-sleeve Nas shirt. 

“Hey, Isak!” Yousef grinned when he opened the door. Isak tries to give him a smile but it must be obvious how nervous he was because Yousef gave him a look. “You okay?” He asks, voice low and Isak didn’t know how but it made him want to spill all his secrets.

“I just… feel nervous about… meeting new people,” Isak tells him, lowering his voice as well. Yousef was easy to talk to, Isak figured.

“It’s okay, they’ll love you. What’s not to love?” Yousef encourages, giving him a sweet grin. Isak can see why Sana’s so in love with him.

“Who’s at the door?” Someone shouts from the living room and Yousef moves aside to gesture for Isak to come in. After rubbing his sweaty hands on his jeans, Isak walks through the threshold to see four guys filling up Even’s living room.

“Uh hey,” Isak greeted when they all turned to look at him. Suddenly, Even appeared out of nowhere and pulled Isak into a quick hug before turning to his friends.

“Guys, this is Isak!” Even says to them, gripping his shoulder in a very “bro” way. Isak couldn’t help but be a little confused by the weird hug and now the shoulder grip. Even pointed to each boy as he introduced them, “Isak, this is Mutta, Adam, Mikael, and Sana’s brother Elias,”

“Nice to meet you guys,” Isak says awkwardly, and he almost wants to slap himself because _why is he being so weird, god damnit._ He was just fine this morning. The boys just stare at him, looking him up and down and then looking back to Even. Isak didn’t really understand what was happening.

“Cool shirt,” Mikael says with a grin.

“You play Fifa?” Elias asks, gesturing to the TV where they had a game paused. “I know you’re a nerd, Valtersen, but you ever heard of video games?” Elias teased, with a smirk. Isak remembered Elias from Sana’s rants about her older brother, but he had never really met him. _Small world_ , Isak thought briefly.

“That’s _doctor_ Valtersen to you, and I’ll kick your ass at Fifa,” Isak threw back and all the boys shouted, all dramatic, like it was the cleverest comeback they’ve ever heard. Isak couldn’t help but chuckle at them and that helped ease his nerves. He went around to sit in the armchair and Mutta passed him a controller.

**~~~**

It was a fun afternoon, if Isak was being honest. After he won a few rounds of Fifa, they ate the buffet Elias’ mom had made him bring and they mainly talked about the short film they were all making together. Isak found out that Even had dropped Juliet off at his parent’s house for the weekend so he could work on the film. Once Isak knew all their weekend plans, it was their turn to ask him.

“What are your plans this weekend, Isak? Got any big surgeries?” Even asks, winking. Isak rolls his eyes.

“No, I had the intern exam yesterday, so I’m off for two weeks,” Isak tells him. He takes a big breath before saying, “And my friends are having a party tonight,”

“Oh cool,” Even nods.

“Uh… do you guys… wanna come?” Isak finally stutters out. Even locks eyes with him from across the living room, a glint in his eyes that Isak can’t quite place.

“Yeah, I’ll be there, of course,” Yousef says, encouraging the other boys to agree.

“Definitely,” Even smiles at Isak, giving him a little nod. All of a sudden, Isak feels his face flush and he looks down at his food before anyone can notice.

“Sure, we’ll be there,” Adam says, and then they move on to a new topic, but Isak can’t quite get that look out of his brain. The look Even gave him, it just reminded him how close they were the other night. It reminded him of how he could’ve just leaned forward and – _bam_ – Isak would know if Even’s lips were as soft as they looked.

**~~~**

When Magnus said he invited _“a few friends”,_ Isak should’ve called his bluff. Practically the entire hospital was here, even some of their bosses! Mahdi and Jonas were already giving Mags an earful about it once Isak got there, so he just laughed along. They stood in the kitchen, observing the packed living room, sipping from cans of cheap beer.

Isak was too busy glancing around, looking for a _certain_ group of boys, to notice a group of girls entering the kitchen.

“Hey!” Jonas greeted, and Isak looked over to see Jonas’ fiancé Eva, along with Noora, Sana, and two girls Isak has never met.

“Jonas, I don’t care if I live here, I am _not_ cleaning up after all this,” Eva complains, gesturing around to all the chaos. Isak had to commend her though. Moving in with Jonas and the boys instead of forcing him to move out was soulmate shit. _“Wife material”,_ as Jonas says.

“Oh, babe, I would never make you clean,” Jonas pulls her in and kisses her on the cheek sloppily. She giggles all cute, and in love, and Isak really wants an excuse to leave. Jonas introduces the other two girls as Eva’s friends, Vilde and Chris, but Isak is preoccupied. He’s scanning the living room searching for Even, when he sees someone who is _not_ Even.

“Alex? You invited Alex!” Isak sputtered, glaring at Magnus. Magnus shrugged, not affected by Isak’s mediocre glare.

“Noora invited him,” He shrugged and Isak scoffed, shifting his glare to Noora.

“What? He asked what I was doing to celebrate passing the exam! I couldn’t lie!” Noora says but Isak just rolls his eyes.

“Don’t mind him,” Sana tells her, “He’s just being dramatic because his _crush_ is here and Alex is his ex-hookup.”

“Ooo, this is like an episode of Grey’s Anatomy!” Vilde squeals, and the doctors in the room gave out a collective groan.

“Wait, Issy, you have a crush?” Magnus blurts out. Jonas perks up, like he’s about to say exactly who it is, but suddenly, some more people join them in the kitchen. Isak looks over, just in time.

“Even! Hey, how’s it going?” Isak greets, in an overly cheery way that even has Even quirking an eyebrow at him.

“I’m good, we brought ice,” Even answers while him and Mikael hold up big bags of ice. Eva cheers, leading them away to show them where to put it. Isak watches Even look back as he follows her, smirking at Isak in this _way_ that makes Isak feel like his brain is short-circuiting.

“Don’t say a word,” Isak says, as he feels everyone’s eyes on him.

**~~~**

Eventually, Isak and the boys migrate to the living room, sitting around a table cluttered with beer cans. Magnus has his eyes trained on Vilde, who’s dancing in the middle of their living room with Noora and Eva. Jonas is telling him he doesn’t stand a chance and Isak is just enjoying his satisfying buzz. However, all buzz’s must be killed, that is the way of the world.

“Isak,” He looks up to see Alex Larsen standing over him with something like a smirk on his lips.

“Uh, hi,” Isak stutters.

“Can I have a moment with you alone?” Alex requests, like he’s a fucking English professor. Isak huffs and stands from his chair, gesturing dramatically for Alex to lead the way. He turns to see the back door that leads out from the kitchen and leads Isak outside. They stand awkwardly on the wooden porch, Alex just staring at Isak while Isak wished he brought a joint with him.

“I heard you assisted on a spinal osteomyelitis with Dr. Kjellberg last week,” Alex says, out of the blue. Isak just hums, looking at him from under his lashes and wondering what more Alex could want to say to him. He thought they settled this. He thought they had moved on. “Complicated surgery. I’m surprised you scrubbed in,”

“Well, I was the best intern. Now, I’ll be the best resident,” Isak says cockily, giving Alex a wry smirk. He doesn’t really understand why they’re even talking about this. Why would Alex even care about this? He watches the other man raise his eyebrows, in what looked like faux shock.

“Resident, really? I’m surprised the chief offered you a position at the hospital. Honestly, I’m _surprised_ you even passed the exam,” He said, before disappearing back inside with a knowing glint in his eyes. He knew that would get to Isak, and get to Isak it did.

He was left standing there, mouth agape in shock. How _dare_ someone even say that to Isak? He’s worked his ass off to be here. He worked day and night to ace the intern exam. He shouldn’t even be bothered by this, he _knows_ Alex is just being an asshole, he _knows_ he deserves to be here. But as he loses balance, and goes to sit on the stairs on the porch, he doubts himself. It’s always in the back of his mind, that thought that he can’t do this. He can’t be a brain surgeon, who does he think he is? His father’s voice. It’s always his voice telling him he can’t do this, he should do something sensible.

And now those words were said aloud, for him to hear. Someone else sees it, and if someone else sees it then everyone must see it. Everyone must see how big of a _joke_ Isak really is. He’s just sitting there on the porch, staring at his hands, wondering who else knows how pathetic he is. He doesn’t belong here.

The door to the porch creaks open, and Isak quickly stands, turning to see who it is. It’s just some random girl he doesn’t know, lighting a cigarette. A doctor who smokes. How ironic.

“What?” She snaps, and then Isak realizes he’s staring at her.

“Sorry,” He says, quickly making his way back inside to the kitchen. He closes the heavy door behind him, closing out the cold and realizing how warm it is in the house. It’s uncomfortably warm, and he desperately wants to go back outside. But he turns around and decides he’d rather get black out drunk. So that’s what he does.

As he gets going, he has a scary thought about how he doesn’t think he’s ever drank this much in his life, and he’s a little concerned for himself, but every time he starts to think too much, he hears the voice. He hears Alex and his fucking dad telling him he’s not supposed to be a doctor. He hears his dad telling him to do something sensible. Fucking sensible. The worst voice, by far, is his mother’s. His mother begging him to stay in that cold hospital with her, but he left. He had to leave.

Now he’s here, leaning against the counter, refusing to sit on the floor even though his knees are feeling weak, as he drinks rum from the bottle. He keeps gagging, it tastes so bad, but he’s not stopping till he forgets all this shit.

**~~~**

“Get cups, we’ll set up a game!” Elias challenges and Mahdi just laughs.

“Okay, okay, but get ready to lose,” Mahdi teases. Even laughs, happily buzzed off one beer.

“I’ll get the cups,” Even offers, wanting to throw away his cup so he isn’t tempted to drink another. He gets up and makes his way to the kitchen. As he turns the corner, he sees Isak laying on the floor. Even is by his side in a second. “Isak!” He shouts, shaking him gently. There’s an empty bottle of rum next to him, and several empty bottles on the counter. “Shit. Jonas!” Even shouts, struggling to understand what to do. “Jonas, someone, help!”

Jonas and the rest of their friends come running to the kitchen.

“Shit, what happened?” Jonas bends down and tries to find Isak’s pulse, gently pushing Even out of the way.

“I don’t know… I came in and he was like that,” Even stuttered, backing away as Jonas, Magnus, and Noora poked and prodded at Isak. Sana and Mahdi watch in shock, along with everyone else.

“His heart rate is too slow, Jonas,” Noora tells him, as Jonas checks Isak’s pupils.

“We need to take him to the hospital,” Magnus says, frantic. Jonas shakes his head.

“No, we can – we can just get him to throw up, that’ll work,” Jonas says, trying to pick Isak up from the floor. Even darts his eyes between the three of them as Noora and Magnus shake their heads. “We don’t know if it’s an overdose! Just help me lift him!”

“Jonas, he’s sweating and his skin is freezing!” Noora shouts.

“Help me lift him!” Jonas demands. Even quickly helps him as Noora turns to Magnus to tell him to kick everyone out. Even and Jonas carry Isak to the closest bathroom, and Even just watches as Jonas props him up against the toilet, sitting with his chest to Isak’s back.

“What’s he overdosing on? What’s going on?” Even asks. He feels like he’s going to run out of air from how hard he’s breathing.

“Alcohol, Even, he _could_ be! He just needs… to throw up,” Jonas grumbles, opening Isak’s mouth and shoving his fingers down his throat. Isak doesn’t respond. “Just throw up, you _asshole_!” Jonas growls, looking like he’s on the verge of breaking. Noora, Magnus, Sana and Mahdi appear in the doorway, watching Jonas shove his fingers down Isak’s throat.

“No gag refluxes. Jonas, he needs to go to the hospital, it’s alcohol poisoning,” Sana says, voice gentle, attempting to comfort him.

“No! He’ll be fine, he just needs to wake up and throw up,” Jonas turns Isak the best he can, trying to pat at his face to wake him up. “This can’t happen. I can’t let this happen,” Jonas is mumbling like a madman, tears running down his red face. Carefully, Eva enters the crowded bathroom and pulls Jonas off of Isak. Even grabs Isak, lifting him up to carry him. Isak’s head lolls back and Even feels sick to his stomach.

“Jonas, you know this isn’t your fault. We have to take him to the hospital,” Eva tells him, in a soft voice, cradling his face in her hands.

“I never talked to him. I stopped listening to him, what if he needed me? What if something – _something_ happened and I wasn’t there, I wasn’t talking to him. I should’ve asked if everything was okay, with his mom, and with him, I wasn’t asking,” Jonas rambles, voice breathy and teary. Eva nods, but doesn’t say anything.

“Let’s go,” Magnus says to Even, leading him out of the now empty house to Noora’s car.

“We’ll follow,” Sana announces, pushing Yousef and the boys to Elias’ car. Noora nods, helping Even lay Isak down in the car. She sits in the back, with Isak’s head propped on her lap, while Magnus jumps in the driver’s seat. Even just stands there, watching everyone pile into cars.

“Even,” He looks up from Isak to Noora and her worried eyes. “Get in the car,” She says and Even looks back to see Eva and Jonas getting into his car, and now everyone’s waiting on him. Quickly, he closes the back door and climbs into the passenger seat, so Magnus can drive off.

**~~~**

They made it to the E.R. as fast as possible. The whole drive Even looked back at Isak as he just laid unconscious, barely breathing. Noora and Magnus kept saying all this medical jargon that Even didn’t understand which just made him worry more. He didn’t know what was going on and he didn’t know how this happened. He hadn’t felt this scared since that day Juliet fell off her bike and he ran to Isak for help. Now who was he supposed to go to for help? Who was supposed to save Isak if Isak is the one who needs saving?

 _I’ll save you right back._ Even thinks for a brief moment, before shaking his head. He doesn’t know how to save Isak, but that’s why they’re taking him to the hospital. It’ll be fine, Even tells himself, over and over again until they’re pulling into the E.R car port.

Magnus and Even carry Isak into the E.R and it’s all a blur to Even. Other doctors and nurses surround them as Magnus and Noora shout out commands and words that make no sense to him. It’s way too overwhelming, and if this was anyone else but Isak, he would be walking away, going to get some air, but he knew he couldn’t leave him.

**~~~**

An hour later, Isak’s laying in a hospital bed, surrounded by his friends, and Even’s friends. Isak’s laying on his side with Jonas facing his back. He's got this scary tube shoved down his throat helping him breath and to prevent choking. Noora was on the other side, repeatedly smoothing down Isak’s curls. The tests came back and the doctors said Isak is just unconscious because of the alcohol overdose. Sana said this was good because it means Isak didn’t have a stroke or any other pre-existing condition that caused him to fall unconscious. He just blacked out, and they just have to wait until the alcohol is out of his system.

“You guys should go,” Jonas says, to Even and his friends. Even watches his friends nod and Yousef kisses Sana on the forehead before going to leave. Even shifts in his chair but he doesn’t get up.

“Even… are you okay?” Mutta asks, looking at him with his puppy-dog eyes. Even bites his lip.

“I can’t leave,”

“You…” Mikael pauses, and then lowers his voice, “You shouldn’t mess with your sleep schedule, bro,” and he gives him this pitiful look, like Even’s a child.

“It’s one night. I’ll be fine. Now go,” Even says, through gritted teeth. His friends hesitate, but they go. Vilde, and Chris go too, offering to clean the house. Even looks around at the room. Magnus and Sana are sitting on the ugly purple couch by the door, reading through Isak’s charts and lab results. Mahdi’s sat in the chair next to Even on the other side of the room, just staring at Isak like he can’t believe this is really happening. Eva’s sat there next to Jonas, playing with his hair and resting her head on his shoulder, trying desperately to comfort him, but he looks like he’s in physical pain.

Even kind of feels a sense of pride for Isak that he’s got all these people who care so much about him. He feels this irrational happiness, but it’s shocked out of his system when a man comes bursting into the room.

“Eskild, finally!” Noora says. The man, Eskild, looks like he just ran here.

“What happened to my baby? What the hell did you idiots do?!” Eskild shouted, pointing at each one of them. Noora stands up and leads Eskild to her chair, sitting him down and rubbing affectionally at his shoulders.

“It’s okay. He got alcohol poisoning, Eskild, and he’ll be fine,” Noora reassures. Eskild grabs for Isak’s hand and holds it dramatically to his cheek. Even feels _wildly_ confused, but he doesn’t feel like now’s the time to ask who this man is.

“Oh, baby gay,” Eskild coos affectionally, touching Isak’s cheek. “Why’s he still asleep?” Eskild whispers.

“The doctor didn’t want to force him awake, it might induce a stroke, or worse,” Noora told him. Eskild lowered his head, resting it on the hospital bed.

“You… You guys are _idiots_ ,” Eskild practically growled, sounding like he was about to start reprimanding them.

“Jonas feels guilty enough, Eskild, please,” Eva says and Eskild raises his head to say something but the doctor comes in. He stops and everyone stares at the doctor.

“Which one of you is Dr. Valtersen’s emergency contact?” The doctor asks and Even looks around curiously.

“I am. Is there something wrong?” Eskild says, standing up, but gripping onto Isak’s hand. Even was practically dying to know who Eskild was, this was getting strange. He didn’t think Isak had lied about not having a boyfriend, and from the hookups Even had met he didn’t think Eskild was his type.

“What’s your relation to Dr. Valtersen?” The doctor asks. _Jackpot_ , Even thinks, even though he really shouldn’t care right now when Isak is lying unconscious in front of him, but he can’t help it.

“Uhm,” Eskild shrugs, “Guardian angel,” He answers and everyone cracks a little smile at that. Even and the doctor share a slightly confused, but amused expression for a moment.

“Okay, well, I just need to run his vitals,” The doctor, Dr. Shearer it looks like from the name on his coat, explains. “But also, I need to speak with you,” He says to Eskild. “Would you like your friends to leave?”

“No no, they’re doctors here, they’ll understand whatever you’re going to tell me,” Eskild says gesturing around but then he locks eyes with Even, “Well, I don’t know you, who are you?”

Even sputters, getting caught off guard. “Uh, I’m Isak’s neighbor… and friend, Even,” He says, moving forward to shake Eskild’s hand, but Eskild suddenly grins like the Cheshire cat. Even retracts his hand awkwardly.

“Even! The hot neighbor, nice to meet you finally!” Eskild cheered, and everyone let out a surprised laugh. Even raised his eyebrows, looking over at Isak and letting himself smile a bit. Isak thinks he’s hot, well okay then.

“Ehem,” Dr. Shearer clears his throat. Everyone turns to look at him, turning serious. “Dr. Valtersen is going to have to stay until he wakes up, and can breath on his own, and then… We’ll need to get him a psych consult,”

The room turned somber. Everyone just nodded and Dr. Shearer examined Isak. Even knew what a psych consult was, of course he did, but he didn’t know what it meant for Isak. Looking at Isak’s friend’s faces though, he didn’t want to ask.

“Page me if he wakes up. Keep an eye on him though, okay?,” Dr. Shearer tells them, sighing to himself.

“We won’t take an eye off of him,” Eskild reassures. Dr. Shearer nods, and leaves them alone. Jonas is the first to break, shoving his head in his hands in frustration.

“This isn’t your fault,” Eva reassures, trying to rub his shoulders. “Come on, why don’t we get some food for everyone?”

“Eva, _no_. I’m not leaving,” Jonas flinches away from her touch. Eva sighs, staring at her fiancé as he stares at the back of Isak’s head. Even stood up.

“I’ll go with you, Eva,” He says, trying to give her a smile. Eva sniffles and nods, so they leave together. They wander around the hospital for a moment, not speaking, just walking together.

“They eat hospital food all day,” Eva says all of a sudden, and Even hums. “Probably shouldn’t get them that,” She says. Even nods.

“Let’s get McDonalds,” Even offers, leading Eva out to the car park. They walk over to Jonas’ car and Eva gives him the keys. Once he starts the car, it’s like Eva can’t help but word-vomit.

“I can see why Isak likes you so much,” Eva says, and Even feels his face flush as he starts to drive. “He likes to keep his life private, the good and the bad, so I get why he didn’t want to talk about you. But it was obvious he was crushing on someone,” Eva runs her hands through her hair, stressed all of a sudden, “Holy fuck, I must still be drunk, I shouldn’t be saying all this shit.”

“It’s alright,” Even reassures her.

“So, you knew Isak liked you? _Are_ you guys together?” Eva asks. Even chuckles.

“No, not yet,” He says and he tries to bite back a smile, but it’s hard. Eva touches his arm, affectionately.

“You’re gonna make him so happy,” She muses, sounding sad all of a sudden. Even wanted to ask why she sounded like that, but he didn’t know if he wanted the answer. The pulled into the McDonald’s drive-thru and ordered for everyone, even getting a milkshake and fries for Sana. Even refuses to let her go hungry.

**~~~**

Hours later, everyone still refuses to sleep. The group of doctors are a little less on edge after eating something, but Eva still insists they should take shifts watching Isak.

“I love him too, guys, but we can’t _all_ stay up,” Eva reasons with them. Sana scoffs.

“Oh okay, so while Magnus is watching Isak, let’s say he falls asleep and Isak chokes on his intubation tube and dies. Will that be worth the couple hours of sleep?” Sana snaps.

“Come on!” Eva groans. “Fine, we can double up, but you guys have to sleep.”

“I’m doing perfectly fine, thank you very much,” Magnus says through a yawn. Noora gets up from her chair.

“Okay, I agree with Eva. We’re exhausted, and still a bit drunk. Come on, let’s take shifts. We can sleep in the on-call room,” Noora says. “Who’s first?” Everyone but Eva and Noora raise their hands. Noora scoffs. “Okay, Eskild and Even, you’re sober. You’ll go first,”

Reluctantly, everyone agrees, and leaves to sleep in on-call rooms around the hospital.

Even has brought his chair to the end of Isak’s bed, while Eskild is still sitting by his head, combing his fingers through his hair and watching him closely.

“So… you’re Isak’s guardian angel?” Even asks, trying to sound like he was teasing, but his tone fell flat in the silent room. The only sound being Isak’s slow heartbeat being monitored.

“Yeah. He... had to leave his family. So, he lived with me while he was in high school, and a little bit of college before he left the nest,” Eskild recalled, sounding sad, just like Eva had in the car. He had this sad smile on his face when he spoke again, “Now he lives all alone in that big apartment and every week he thinks I’m joking when I ask him to move back in.”

“Guardian angel,” Even says softly, like he was agreeing with the sentiment. It sounded like Isak needed a guardian angel, and Even’s so glad he has one.

“Don’t worry, he’ll open up to you like that one day,” Eskild’s voice is low and soft, serious. Even hums.

“Why does everyone think we’re together?” He asks. Eskild just lets out a breathy laugh.

“We just know Isak... He doesn’t know it yet but he’ll fall in love with you,” Eskild speaks so confidently that Even almost can’t dispute him. They sit in comfortable silence for a bit, just watching the way Isak’s chest rose and fell as he breathed.

Even had so many thoughts at the moment, after this insane night, and he couldn’t help but feel like Eskild was the perfect person to ask.

“I feel like I won’t be good for him... He’s a doctor, he’s so determined and... did he tell you that I have a daughter?” Even asks, building up his courage and trying to gauge if he could trust Eskild. He spilled so many of Isak’s secrets, how does he know he won’t do the same to Even?

“She’s four. He told me. We had tea last week and _all_ he could talk about was you and Juliet. She sounds adorable. He really likes the two of you, good company, he says,” Eskild smiles brightly, twirling one of Isak’s curls around his finger. Even feels a warmth in his chest that he’s never felt before, and he can’t claim to understand it, but it’s warm, and it’s because of Isak.

He takes a deep breath, eyes trained on Eskild.

“Eskild... I have a _disorder_...” Eskild looks over at him, face not changing as he continues, “I’m bipolar,” Even almost whispers, a grimace on his face as he admits this. Eskild smiles softly.

“You haven’t told Isak.” Even shakes his head. “That’s okay, it’ll come out in time. It may scare Isak but... well, you’ll find out,” Eskild says.

Even’s eyebrows furrow, “You think he won’t be able to handle it?”

“Oh no! Isak can handle anything. He’s terribly strong. But that’s his story to tell, just like your bipolar is your story to tell.”

Even sits in silence with that for a while. Minutes passed by, and Even almost doesn’t want to break the silence they’ve fallen into.

“Has anyone ever told you you’re like a... gay guru?” He jokes and Eskild laughs, bright, and Even’s so thankful that Isak’s guardian angel is here.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you all for reading. and thank you for your wonderful comments! they make me feel so much better and it really motivates me to write more. 
> 
> if you have any wishes for things to happen in this story, comment them and I'll consider it! I love getting feedback like that from you guys. 
> 
> thanks so much for reading xoxoxo 
> 
> love, ally
> 
> EDIT: if you guys wanna keep up with me or anything you can find me @tooo_muchcoffee on twitter and on Tumblr tooomuchcoffee <3  
> I might give mini updates on twitter like if I'm almost done with a chapter or if I'm having trouble, idk I just wanna be a part of the fandom again.


	9. nine

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> People need people.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry it took me a while, college sucks :(
> 
> this chapter is dedicated to talk me down by troye sivan!

A sharp inhale leads to him choking on his own throat, or at least that’s what it feels like. Suddenly, through half-lidded eyes and blurry vision, Isak sees Jonas leaning over him, frantically shouting to someone. He can’t stay awake suddenly, and all he can hear is Jonas’ voice.

“It’s okay, Isak, just relax,” It distant, and right in his ear, and then he’s fading back into sleep.

**~~~**

When Isak wakes up later, he thinks about that weird dream where he was choking on nothing and Jonas came to save him. He thinks maybe it’s a metaphor for something. He doesn’t want to open his eyes yet, it seems dark in his room, and it’s cold. Maybe it’s the middle of the night. As sleep fades from him, he starts to notice the little things. The incessant beeping, the scratchy sheets… His throat feels sore.

His eye lids are heavy but he opens them to see Jonas and Eva sitting at his side. Her head is resting on his shoulder and he just turned to kiss her head. Isak doesn’t understand what’s going on. He looks around and knows he’s in a hospital bed, but he shouldn’t be. There’s nothing wrong with him. They shouldn’t even be in the hospital, they’re supposed to be on break. The chief is going to kill them, that’s all he can think. He tries to sit up, and suddenly Jonas and Eva are staring at him.

“Isak!” Jonas lets out a sigh of relief and gently pushes Isak back down in bed. Suddenly there’s a noise to his left and he looks to see Even waking up on that ugly purple couch.

“What are you guys doing here?” Isak blurts out, staring at Even. He looks at his bed head and his pale face. Even looks terrible, Isak hates to admit it. Even stood up and grabbed an extra chair from the room, moving to sit on his left side.

“You should rest,” Eva tells him, and Isak looks around, assessing his situation even more. The three of them look terrible, like they haven’t slept, and he had an IV in his hand. His throat felt sore. Isak wasn’t stupid, but he couldn’t assume.

“Hand me my chart,” He demands, gesturing to his chart on the table at the end of his bed. No one moved. “Give me my chart!” Isak shouts, but his voice is hoarse. Even touches his arm gently, trying to comfort him but Isak jerks his arm away.

“Isak,” Even’s voice is low, and he sounds hurt, but Isak can’t focus on that. He just wants to know what’s going on.

“Get out,” Isak mumbles. No one moves, until another doctor comes in. Isak turns to glare at him.

“Hello, Dr. Valtersen, we haven’t met. I’m Dr. Shearer,” He introduces himself, grabbing Isak’s chart right away. “How are you – “

“Get them out of here,” Isak snaps.

“Isak, come on,” Jonas groans, but Eva tugs on his arm, making him sigh deeply. Isak tries not to look, but he can tell Even has the look of a kicked puppy as he follows the couple out of the room. Dr. Shearer walks over and shines a blindingly bright flashlight into Isak’s eyes and then checks the rest of his vitals.

“No one’s told me what’s wrong with me,” Isak huffs, pouting like a petulant child. Dr. Shearer sighs, busying himself with writing in his chart.

“You were admitted last night after your friends deduced that you had overdosed on alcohol and fallen unconscious. Your blood alcohol concentration was at 0.42 percent, which is _quite_ dangerous, as you know. We intubated you because you couldn’t breathe on your own, and to prevent choking. Your throat may feel sore for a few days, but _you_ know that. We kept you overnight to observe… and because you need a psych consult,” The doctor finishes, sighing a bit at the end. Isak scoffs. That’s all he can think to do.

He doesn’t remember trying to drink himself to death and now he has to talk to some shrink about it. _Not in a million years_ , Isak thought.

“I’m not doing that,” He said, point blank. Dr. Shearer shakes his head.

“You know you can’t refuse. We won’t discharge you until you talk to psych,” He says, leveling Isak with a harsh look. “Do you need me to get the chief of surgery to come convince you?”

“Just get out,” Isak mutters, staring down at his hands and the IV. The doctor looked at him for another minute before leaving and closing the door behind him. Isak was left alone to sink deeper into his scratchy hospital blankets.

All of this feels so sudden, like it’s happened out of nowhere. This wasn’t supposed to happen, he wasn’t supposed to be here. He was supposed to be hungover, watching Magnus and Jonas play FIFA. He should be eating eggs that Eva cooked them all, and laughing at all the drunk stories from the night before. He didn’t mean to do this. It feels like suddenly, everything’s falling apart. Even’s here and he must have seen how big of a mess he was. He’s probably just here to tell him he wants nothing to do with him. He’ll end what they never started, because Isak can’t handle someone’s criticism.

His life felt like it was falling apart. His _tiny_ life, with his tiny group of friends, and his huge apartment. All that he had was crumbling down to his feet. His barely-started career was going to end before he even got a chance to be _good,_ because he can’t do this anymore. He knows he can’t do it anymore. So, he hides under his scratchy hospital bed and wills his mind to stop racing.

**~~~**

Isak’s eyes feel puffy and glued shut when he tries to open them the next morning. He lifts his hand up to rub the gunk out of his eyes, so he can open them and see his empty hospital room. There’s a tray of food on the tray table at the end of the bed, and he almost wants to laugh at the fact that the nurses were probably too scared to wake him up. He stares at the tray of crappy hospital food for a while, swallowing his spit to quench his sore throat.

“You should drink some water,” Isak looks to the door to see Jonas, leaning on the doorway in a hoodie and jeans, like he’s waiting for Isak to pack up his things and head to class with him. Jonas looks fine, a little tired, but he’s fine. It makes Isak wonder why all this is happening to him. Everything always happens to him, and no one else. How is that fair? How is it that in this huge universe all the bad shit happens to Isak? He gets stuck with the shitty family, the shitty dad, shitty mom, shitty apartment, shitty life. Shitty hospital food.

“Stop thinking so much,” Jonas sighs, practically falling into the chair by Isak’s bed. All he can do is turn to look at his best friend. Jonas rubs his eyes, looking like he’s maybe not as fine as he looks. Isak stays silent, holding back from snapping at him to get out of his room and go back to his cozy house, with his beautiful fiancé, and his nice life. He stays silent when Jonas closes his eyes and tips his head back to look at the ceiling. “You fucking scared me, you…” He sucked in a breath and looked down at his best friend. “I should’ve said it before, but I’m saying it now… You can talk to me about _anything._ Just because I’m getting married, or just because you think I might not understand, doesn’t mean you can’t talk to me about shit. I’m sorry if I made it seem like I didn’t care, or something, but I do care. You and Eva are my best friends, and I care about you two more than _anyone_ else,” Jonas tells him, eyes shiny and full of something like passion. Isak stared at him for a moment.

“Eva won’t be too happy about that,” Isak teases, but neither of them really laugh. Jonas stares at him like he’s pleading for him to understand. Isak stares right back, wondering why someone dares to care so much about him.

“Isak, _please_. I’m sorry that you’re feeling like this, but you do this to yourself. You push everyone away until you’re completely alone, but you won’t push me away, ever. I’m sorry, but you have to see the psych, you have to talk to me, and you can’t keep going like this,” Jonas finishes, sitting back in the shitty hospital chair and closes his eyes again like he can’t believe he just said all of that.

Isak sits there with all those feelings and all those words. Jonas was always one to make the big speeches.

“Okay,” He whispered, hoping Jonas knew how hard it was to admit that he needs people. He can’t be an island forever.

“Thank fuck,” Jonas sighs out in relief, smiling up at the ceiling. Isak takes a big breath, watching how happy it made his best friend.

“Any more words of wisdom or are you going to let me rest now?” Isak tries to joke, but Jonas sits up straight again.

“Yes. I think, you need to visit your mom,” He says, and he’s staring straight into Isak’s eyes, as he stares back. Isak feels a bit surprised that Jonas really said that. “And, Even’s waiting in the lobby,”

“What?” Isak really wants to know why _that_ information shocks (and interests) him more than Jonas telling him that he should visit his mom.

“He was here when I got here, so… I don’t even know if he’s left the hospital all weekend,” Jonas says, giving Isak _a look_.

“ _What_?” Isak tries to shrug and Jonas lets out a laugh.

“ _Come on_. What’s going on between you guys?” Jonas asks with an annoying smirk on his face. Isak shakes his head.

“Nothing,” He tells him, and Jonas frowns. The teasing atmosphere dies quickly. Jonas sighs.

“Do you want me to tell him to leave?” Jonas asks, looking down at his clasped hands.

“No. You can tell him to come up, but… I gotta talk to the shrink first,” Isak tells him as he sits up in his hospital bed. Jonas looks up at him and gives him a little smile, nodding, and suddenly Isak didn’t feel like his chest was being stepped on, weighed down. He felt a little lighter in the light of Jonas’ little smile.

**~~~**

Jonas left and Isak went up a floor to speak to the hospital’s shrink so she could evaluate him, _or whatever_. He had never met Dr. Skrulle, but he really didn’t expect her to be so… odd. Not in a bad way, just in an _unconventional_ way. Her office was multi-colored, with a bright green couch, and bookcases full of knick-knacks and novels. There’re bright yellow curtains on the windows that look out to the Oslo skyline. There was also a dildo stuck to one of the shelves, but he wasn’t brave enough to ask about it. He had changed into sweats and a tee shirt that Eskild brought him, so he felt wildly out of place in her office. She was sat at her desk, her hair in two neat braids, scribbling in a notebook.

“Uh, hi,” He spoke, making his presence known. She looked at him before standing up and walking over to him.

“Ah, Dr. Valtersen, nice to see you,” She said, gesturing to the couch. He sat down on the edge, hoping this would be quick, and she sat down in an armchair a few feet away.

“Nice to meet you,” He said politely. He didn’t usually feel so anxious in the hospital, but he usually wasn’t a patient. And he usually wasn’t speaking to a therapist.

“So, let’s get right to it. Why did you try to kill yourself Saturday night?” She blurts out and Isak’s eyebrows fly up. He shakes his head, attempting to speak but he was too shocked. She continues before he can say a word, “Now, don’t try to convince me it was nothing. You could’ve died, and it seemed like that was your plan. Your friends and colleagues say you don’t have a history of binge drinking,”

“I-I don’t, but it wasn’t my intention – “

“ _Actually_ , your emergency contact, Eskild, was his name, he admitted that you had one night where you blacked out and that’s when he first met you. He said you left your home, and refused to go back,” She said, and Isak couldn’t believe his friends would report on him like that. He couldn’t believe he was being sucked into therapy all because he got a bit too drunk.

“That – that was different, and… This was just because… I don’t know. I just wanted to get drunk,” Isak stutters out. Dr. Skrulle makes a “hmmp” sound and scribbles in her notebook. He sighs, shaking his head.

“Well, it seems you have a history of only drinking yourself into a blackout when something traumatic happens,” She says, and Isak seriously can’t believe this is happening. “So, what happened Saturday night?”

She speaks in this soft, but demanding way that makes Isak jaw snap shut. He stares at a spot on her chair, it looks like green paint on the bright blue chair. Everything goes silent in his mind like he can’t even think, but suddenly his eyes feel like they’re stinging and he’s holding back tears. _What happened Saturday night?_ It’s usually a fun question. After a good party. This wasn’t a fun question though. It makes him think. It makes him remember how Alex spat out the words he so desperately tried to push down, deep into his body, because how come so many people want to let him know that he can’t do this? He can’t possibly be good enough for _anything,_ and people continue to remind him of this. He can’t do this.

“I can’t do this,” Isak blurts out, getting ready to stand up and storm out, but Dr. Skrulle seems like she was ready for this reaction.

“Do you like other people, Isak?” She says, and it surprises Isak enough to keep seated.

“Sure,” He mumbles with a shrug of his shoulder. Dr. Skrulle nods and just stares at him for a moment.

“You see… Everyone is an island, and the bridge to others is through communication,” She says, moving her hands around a lot, but Isak understood her. “People _need_ people. Do _you_ have people?”

“Yeah…”

“Yes. You do. I met them all last night. You have lots of people who worry about you, and love you, and whatever happened the other night that caused you to hurt yourself, that wasn’t someone who cares about you, so why should you care what they think or say?” She tells him. She lets him take a second, so he breathes in a deep breath and sits back a little on the couch before his eyes can start tearing up again. “You can’t isolate yourself, Isak. You have people to talk about this with, and it’s okay if I’m not one of those people. But you _have_ to talk,”

Isak stayed silent, staring down at his hands now, instead of the green spot of paint. He didn’t know what to say, but he understood. He couldn’t keep going like this. He couldn’t push everyone away from him, like his mother did. He didn’t want to end up like his mother, alone and misunderstood. So, he nodded, because that was the best he could do right now.

They sat in silence for a little bit longer, even though Isak kind of wanted her to keep talking so he wasn’t stuck with his thoughts whirling around his head.

“So, I want you to meet with me once a week for the next month, at least, _okay_?” Dr. Skrulle says as she scribbles something into her notebook. Isak looked up at her.

“No, no I don’t want to do anything like that,” Isak tried, but she looked back up at him with a fire in her eyes.

“If you don’t do this therapy, I’ll be telling the chief of surgery that you’re unfit to be a resident,” She threatens and Isak shuts his mouth. She gives him a piece of paper with her office number and email, along with the time and date for their first official session. He left her office with an odd feeling in his stomach.

He never imagined he’d be forced to be in therapy, but maybe she’s right about him needing his people.

**~~~**

Even’s waiting in his hospital room when he comes back. He’s sitting with his head down and seems to be deep in thought since he doesn’t notice that Isak’s in the room until he’s getting back into bed.

“Oh,” Even says when they meet eyes, and he rubs his palms across his jeans.

“Hi. You look like shit,” Isak greets, and Even lets out a weak laugh, like he’s too nervous to actually find anything funny. Isak sits on top of his covers and brings his knees to his chest, wondering how Even is going to end things between them before it’s even started. That’s clearly why he looks so nervous. He’s trying to think of a way to let him down gently.

“Yeah,” Even blurts out, and coughs awkwardly. “I have to say something,” He admits, but he continues to stare down at his lap and his bouncing leg.

“I know,” Isak mumbles. He really wishes it didn’t have to be like this. This wasn’t even supposed to happen. A thought comes to Isak as Even stays silent – _maybe it’s better this way_. Even has a daughter and Isak has his career. They probably wouldn’t have made it work. Isak’s not the kind of guy that makes things work when they get too hard. Except with med-school. And his residency. But that might all be over tomorrow.

“I really, really fucking care about you,” Even starts, shocking Isak out of his reverie. Isak didn’t really expect him to start like _that_. “I just want to know if you were _trying_ to hurt yourself,”

Isak has no idea how to answer that. He knows he felt like shit that night, after Alex and how fast his mind spiraled into the worst thing he could think of. He doesn’t know if he was trying. He was just trying to forget, but he doesn’t know if he was trying to hurt himself. So, he doesn’t know how to answer that question.

“I don’t know how to answer that,” He says and Even huffs, shaking his head like he’s angry. Isak watches him, watches his eyebrows crinkle together and he rolls his eyes. Isak’s never seen Even like this. “It’s – It’s a long story, okay! I can’t just,” Now it’s Isak’s turn to sigh, frustrated. “It’s not a yes or no answer, Even,”

Even shakes his head, staring at his shoes for a good minute, before looking up at Isak. Piercing blue eyes full of fire, staring at him. Isak feels himself cower. “What if the tables were turned? What if I was sitting in that hospital bed, after almost dying two days ago? Would you even care?” Even spits. Isak swallows, thick and full of shame. He breaks eye contact, staring at his arms where they’ve come to hold his knees to his chest. His hands are clasped together tightly.

He feels sick just thinking about Even being in his situation. “I’m sorry,” He murmurs. “You know I’d feel like shit if this happened to you,”

“I don’t know that,” Even mumbles back, annoyed. Isak sighs, he deserves that. He looks back at Even and realizes he’s not just mad at him, he’s upset. He was scared, and now Isak feels like shit anyway. He lifts his arm and brushes his fingertips against Even’s shoulder. He doesn’t jerk away, so Isak runs his hand down and squeezes his bicep.

“I’m sorry, Even,” He whispers, running his hand down his arm. Even lifts his arm onto the bed and naturally, their hands come together, gripping each other tightly.

“I know your life is hectic, Isak,” He starts, “and it’s messy, and there’s a lot of _unknowns_ right now. My life is the same way,” Isak watches him closely as he rambles. “But there’s one unknown I just can’t stand anymore, but I _know_ you feel… this. I know you feel this connection, I’m not crazy… Right?” Suddenly, Even jerks his head up and the piercing blue eyes are back with a different kind of fire. A fire that lights you up inside, a passionate fire that makes you realize this isn’t a game anymore. This is _it_.

“I feel it,” Isak assures him, his voice low, but confident. He squeezes Even’s hand and smiles for the first time in two, maybe three, days. Even smiles back and breathes out a breath of air that sounds like a weight came off his chest. Isak knows they both have so much more to say, but it’s scary. His heart was racing and Even’s hands were sweating, he could feel it, but they said it. They put it out there – there are _feelings_ , out there.

It feels like a million unknowns surround them still but right now it’s enough to know one unknown.

**~~~**

So, Even drives him back to their apartment building later that evening when Isak is discharged, and it’s mostly been comfortable silence until they get off the elevator on the 21st floor. They walk down the long hallway, as slowly as they could manage.

“So, um, are you okay to… sleep alone?” Even asks, and it sounds weird so Isak kind of chuckles. “I’m just saying, I could sleep on your couch or something, just in case something happens. I know _you’re_ the doctor here, but that doesn’t mean you don’t need someone to take care of you. I mean – “

“Are you inviting yourself to sleep over?” Isak chuckles, cutting off his nervous rambling as they get to their front doors. Isak leans against his door, watching Even do the same. They stare at each other for a moment, Even taking a deep breath and finally smiling, shaking his head at his ridiculousness. “Where’s Juliet been?” He finally asks.

“She’s been at my parent’s all weekend. She was just supposed be there Saturday night, but– “

“ _Fuck_ , I’m sorry,” Isak shoves his head into his hands, embarrassed, “I didn’t mean to cause all this fucking stress!”

“Isak,” Even crosses the narrow hallway, crowding Isak against the door. He pries his hands away from his face, holding them in his own hands. “You’re not stressful. And I promise you, Juliet loves her grandparents, they have three dogs and no rules, who wouldn’t love that?” Even jokes, and it earns a chuckle from Isak. Carefully, Even takes Isak’s chin in his hand and lifts it up, holding his jaw.

“Sorry… I’m just stressed, I think,” Isak mumbles, heart racing and skin heating. Even’s so close, closer than he was that night in the kitchen. It’s overwhelming, to say the least. Isak exhales and his breath hits Even’s lips.

“Let’s go inside, get some sleep, okay?” Even whispers and Isak can only nod. Suddenly, Even pulls his jaw closer and brushes his lips against Isak’s cheek, and it feels like heaven. It’s like sweet bliss as his velvet lips press against his skin, even if it’s the briefest of movements, and then he’s grazing his hand down his neck and pulling away.

Isak stands, stunned for a moment before he realizes he’s supposed to open the door now. He fumbles for his keys and, as calmly as possible, lets them into his apartment.

**~~~**

After he showers, he gets out his cot. While Isak can admit, it feels a bit silly setting up a cot for Even, he also would feel silly asking for him to sleep in his bed, so he makes sure that the sheet fits and that the pillow is good enough for him. Even’s showering now and Isak can hear him humming and moving around on the other side of his bedroom wall. It’s a weird feeling. He climbs into bed and it feels like his stomach is in his chest, because his heart is in his throat. There’s a man in his shower, humming a tune and using his shampoo. It all kind of makes me feel a little more whole… if that makes sense. As he waits for Even to finish showering, Isak tries to think of something to do so he doesn’t think he’s just sitting there listening to him like a creep.

The only book on his bedside table is a surgical handbook, because he’s a weirdo who only owns textbooks and study materials. Either way, he grabs it and pretends to read, flicking at the paper as he listens to Even.

It’s a weird feeling. He has no idea what the future holds, he doesn’t even know if they can do this. He has no idea if they can _work._ Even has a daughter, and Isak was a career, how is that ever supposed to work? Isak doesn’t know if he has it in him to try.

Then he thinks about how full he feels just knowing Even’s in his apartment. Just knowing that he’s here, showering and using his shampoo. He feels safe, and whole, and that’s a funny feeling. That’s not a feeling you get when you don’t want something to work out.

**~~~**

Later that night, Even is laying in the cot next to Isak’s bed, and they’re both pretending they’re asleep. Isak’s turned away, staring at his empty wall. Every wall in his apartment is empty, and Eskild once said that it was weird. He saw in some episode of Queer Eye that it looked like you didn’t have anyone if you didn’t have pictures on the walls. Isak felt tears burn his eyes just thinking about Eskild saying that to him, _because it’s true_. Isak didn’t have anyone.

Maybe he shouldn’t say that. He clearly has people. He’s got his friends, and that should be enough. But this all happened because he never had a family. Friends now don’t make up for the 17 years without a family, without anyone. Friends now doesn’t mean he’s better, and he knows that now. It took a near-death experience to realize it, but hey, sometimes that’s what it takes to wake up.

“Are you awake?” Isak chokes out, not realizing how distraught he would sound when he finally spoke up. Even shuffled around, before answering.

“Yeah… I can’t sleep,” Even says, voice laced in worry, and Isak kind of hated it. He took a deep breath, still staring at his blank wall.

“It was Alex,” Isak choked out, “He… he said some shit to me that… I think I’ve always been scared of being true. So, I kinda fucking spiraled,” He finally said it. He turned from his side, laying on his back to stare at the ceiling. He still wasn’t brave enough to look at Even, but at least he’d found his words, and now it’s like he couldn’t stop. “My dad used to say the same kind of shit, that I could never be a surgeon, that I couldn’t handle this because I couldn’t even handle my mother. I _left_ her, Even, _I left her_ at some home for mentally unstable people, it’s sick! I can’t even _care_ for my own mother, what am I _doing_ being a doctor? I’m a joke! I shouldn’t be here!”

Suddenly, Even is hugging him tight against his chest and Isak snaps back to where he’s hyperventilating against Even’s soft shirt, and hot tears are running down his face. His hands are shaking as they grip Even’s shirt.

“Breathe, Isak, breathe,” Even whispers into his ear, lips brushing against his ear, like heaven. He holds him tight to his chest, repeating the words over and over again until Isak feels his chest stop pounding and his grip on Even’s shirt turns into a hand caressing his chest. Even continues to hold him tight, making them comfortable in Isak’s bed.

He pulls the covers over them both and they settle in. Isak sniffles, his eyes falling shut, finally feeling the exhaustion settle into his bones. Even brushes his lips to his forehead, and suddenly he’s pressing the most delicate kisses all over Isak’s face as he falls into a deep sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you so much for reading!!!
> 
> i seriously don't really know what to write next chapter... i don't know if I want to end it... or what??? idk, let me know why i should do <3
> 
> love you guys!! thank you soooo much for reading and i hope you liked this chapter!


	10. ten

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Isak and Even get closer and closer...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter is dedicated to the song "bloom" by the paper kites
> 
> thanks for waiting so long for this chapter! college is kicking my depressed ass. 
> 
> i really hope you like the chapter!!

It’s raining when Isak wakes up that morning, face turned towards his window. It’s cracked open just a bit, letting the pitter-patter of the storm fill his bedroom. Isak’s never felt warmth like this, as he relaxes back into Even’s chest. His bed is big enough for the two of them, but Even’s body is pressed against him, his face in the nape of his neck, and his limps draped over Isak’s. It’s comfortable even as they rest on one side of the king-sized bed. Even’s breath warms the back of his neck and the rain makes Isak’s eyes close again, wanting to melt into the other man’s embrace as the storm goes on outside. For a moment Isak contemplates turning and shoving his face into Even’s chest to hear him breath and hear his heart beat and to smell his laundry detergent. He doesn’t move though, too content and too afraid of Even’s judgement.

Before his thoughts can spiral, Even’s hands are tightening their grip on Isak’s waist, rubbing his stomach affectionately.

“Are you hungry?” Even mumbles, the first thing he says as his mind makes its way out of sleep. Isak smiles to himself, basking in his warm touch and the rasp of Even’s voice. Even’s lips brush against the back on Isak’s neck, probably not being meant as a kiss but rather as an attempt to burrow even closer to Isak in the spacious bed.

“Yeah,” Isak answers, hearing his goofy smile in his own voice. This time Even does press a kiss to Isak’s neck before his phone rings and pulls him away from Isak’s body. Reluctantly, Isak turns to lie on his back and Even scoots across the bed to the bedside table. Eskild forced him to buy the extra bedside table, he said having one was a sociopath thing to do, so Isak has two bedside tables. Anyway, Even picks his phone up from the extra bedside table and answers.

Isak watches Even as he rests on his elbows, talking to his parents about dropping Juliet off at the apartment. He looks sleepy and beautiful, and Isak feels his stomach fill with butterflies, filling him with nerves. How can one person look so beautiful?

Even hangs up the phone and looks back at Isak, still not returning to their original position. Even looks like he thinks for a moment before turning back to get out of bed.

“Come on, I’ll make you breakfast,” Even says, gesturing for Isak to follow him as he exits the bedroom. Isak groans, dramatically. Once Even is out in the kitchen, clearly rummaging through his empty fridge, Isak leans over and smells his pillow where Even’s head was. It’s embarrassing as fuck, but he can’t help it. He inhales deeply, smiling at a smell that’s so simply described as _Even_ , with a mix of Isak’s shampoo. Isak wants to laugh at his frustration that he let Even use his shampoo instead of his own. For a moment, he feels hope that maybe there will be another time in the future when Isak’s pillow smells like Even’s shampoo.

Eventually, he goes out into his kitchen and finds Even gone. He would normally panic, but his front door is wide open, and so is Even’s front door. Isak stands there, amused, before going over to Even’s apartment. He closes their front doors, leaving them unlocked once he sees Even making scrambled eggs on the stove.

“What on earth are you doing?” Isak teases, leaning on the island in Even’s kitchen. Even turns and scoffs.

“Well _someone_ didn’t have a single ingredient in their fridge, so I had to take matters into my own hands,” Even teases back, his back turned to Isak as he scrambles the eggs. “Will you put bread in the toaster?”

Isak does as he’s told, placing two slices in the toaster before leaning back on the counter and watching Even cook.

“Sorry I kinda… made a scene last night,” Isak says, feeling like he’s lacking the right words. Even pauses, setting his spatula down and turning around to face Isak with a frown.

“You don’t have to apologize,” Even says, shaking his head. Isak crosses his arms over his chest, avoiding eye contact. He doesn’t really know what to say. “Do you feel okay?” Even asks. Isak just shrugs but Even frowns at him.

“I mean… I’m alright now,” Isak says. The stay in silence for a moment, wondering what the other is going to say. Finally, Isak speaks up, “I’m going to start therapy though, so I’ll be okay,” He admits and Even lets out a breath of relief. Isak quirks an eyebrow at him but doesn’t question it.

“Okay,” Even says, with a smile. “Are you going to visit your mom? I think that might help you as well,” He’s got this hopeful look on his face and Isak almost wants to scoff, but he doesn’t. He just looks over his shoulder at the eggs that are about to be overcooked.

“One step at a time,” He mumbles, walking over to turn the burner off. Even turns to the side to look at him and suddenly they’re so close. Isak tries not to react, as he scoops scrambled eggs onto two plates that Even set out. The toast pops out of the toaster, so finally Even moves away to grab it. Isak _knows_ they have to have a _conversation_ like adults do when they have mutual feelings for each other, but it’s terrifying. Isak has never even had a boyfriend, how is he supposed to have an _adult conversation about feelings?_ It sounds awful, and awkward, and potentially embarrassing.

They sit at Even’s dining room table, eating their eggs and toast. Even’s legs are so long that his foot is touching Isak’s foot, or maybe he’s doing that intentionally. _God_ , Isak needs to figure out how to not be an awkward teenager with a crush, moving forward.

“I, uh…” Isak starts, trying to bite the bullet and just blurt out what he’s been thinking, but it’s harder than he thought it’d be. He sits for a solid minute after speaking, his mind going blank. Even waits patiently though, which surprises him. After another minute, he forces himself to say, “I’ve never been in a relationship,” as he pushes his eggs around the plate. Even makes a little humming sound.

“I’m not surprised,” Even jokes. Isak’s head snaps up to see Even smirking like the asshole he is. Isak scoffs but Even just chuckles at him. “I mean, I can understand why,”

“Uh huh,” Isak deadpans, taking a big bite of toast.

“Well, you’re so busy saving lives,” Even winks at him with his stupid beautiful face and Isak can’t help but roll his eyes. He knows he’s got a fond look on his face when he looks back to Even, because Even looks smug as shit.

“Shut up,” Isak mumbles, looking down at his eggs again. “I was trying to be serious,” He admits, and Even laughs.

“Sorry, sorry, I get it though, that’s all,” Even says, and then it’s silent for a moment. “Is there a reason you brought that up though?” He asks. Isak looks back up at Even, suddenly feeling very insecure about the mutual part of their mutual feelings.

“Oh,” Isak blurts out, “I just thought like… we might be… starting – “

“Oh I didn’t mean – “ Even starts but he stops himself when he sees the panicked look in Isak’s eyes. “I _do_ want to be in a relationship with you,” He says, most assuredly.

“Okay,” Isak nods. Even mirrors him, nodding his head as well.

“I just meant… Why did you want me to know that you’ve never been in a relationship?” Even asks, raising his eyebrows. Isak shrugs.

“I don’t know… I just thought you should know that I’m not good at this stuff. I don’t know _how_ to do any of this and _you_ … You have a daughter. You shouldn’t… I don’t know if you should have something so unstable in your life,” Isak finishes with a deep breath.

Even lets out a little scoff. “You can’t end this thing before it’s even started,” He says, with a relaxed smile on his face. “And we don’t have to tell Juliet right away, you know?”

Isak nods, feeling a little more relaxed.

“So, are you free tonight?” Even winks, with that smug look on his face again.

“Are you asking me on a date?” Isak teases, hoping he looks just as smug as Even. Even does this cute little head tilt and just stares at him for a moment.

“Yeah, is that okay?” Even smiles, voice soft and it’s all a little overwhelming for Isak.

“Yeah, yeah that’s chill,” Isak smiles, hiding his embarrassing blush by ducking down to finish his eggs but the way Even laughs makes Isak sure that he noticed.

**~**

Later, Isak goes back to his own apartment to get dressed. He’s about to go back to hang out with Even before Juliet comes home when his phone rings.

It’s Jonas. He’s got several texts from him, so reluctantly Isak answers the phone.

“Hey,” He greets and Jonas scoffs.

“Hey?” Jonas mocks. “I texted you like twenty times. Did you get home okay?”

“Yeah, I’m fine Jonas,” Isak huffs, feeling like he’s talking to his fucking dad.

“Bro, I’m just worried, for good reason too,” Jonas says, and he sounds so tired.

“Sorry,” He mumbles, sitting down on the edge of his bed.

“So, what happened? Like with Even?” Jonas asks.

“Nothing… I mean… We might be going on a date tonight,” Isak tells him, trying not to smile so wide.

“Bro! Sweet,” He says, sounding genuinely happy for him.

“And I also might’ve let the stuff about my mom slip…” Isak admits. He doesn’t really know why he mentions it, when it could’ve just been a nice moment about Isak finding someone dumb enough to date him. But Isak wants Jonas to know. He feels awful about closing Jonas out of his life recently, because he didn’t even really notice that he was doing that.

“Oh, wow,” Jonas says. “What’d you say?” Isak sighs. He debates spilling his guts, telling his best friend everything. On one hand, Jonas will understand. On the other hand, he may be pissed at him.

“I just…” Isak blurts out, biting his lip as he continues to think. “I told him about what happened… the other night. Why I… did that, I guess,” Isak knows he’s stuttering and stumbling, and Jonas is probably rolling his eyes at how annoying he’s being, but he doesn’t know how to explain it. He doesn’t know what to say.

“It’s okay,” Jonas says, interrupting his spiraling mind. Isak takes a deep breath.

“It’s a lot, sorry,” He mumbles, and Jonas assures him that he’s listening. So, Isak sits down on the edge of his bed and recounts the night the best he can. It’s difficult, to admit to his best friend, all these fears and doubts he has, but he trusts Jonas more than anyone in the world. After Isak has nothing more to say, Jonas stays silent for a while. Isak holds his breath, thinking the worst is about to happen.

Jonas makes a little humming sound before saying, “You know the chief told me you scored the highest on the exam? All I could think was, _obviously_ , all he does is fucking study.”

Isak lets out an awkward chuckle, shocked that he scored the highest, and a bit confused as to why Jonas brought this us.

“But you were born for this, Isak, you’ve got a gift. It’s not just about how hard you work, which obviously helps, but you are 100 times better than that dick Alex. In every way,” Jonas says, sounding so certain. Isak wants to roll his eyes, but his head ducks and he’s so glad Jonas can’t see the tears well up in his eyes. His grip on his phone tightens.

“Thanks Jonas… That means a lot,” Isak murmurs, trying not to give away the emotion in his voice.

“And you leaving your mom in a care facility… Isak, that’s the best place for her and you _know_ that. You would take care of her if you could, but you have to take care of yourself too,” Jonas tells him, and this time the tears in Isak’s eyes burn. “You can’t blame yourself for having a shitty dad,” Jonas tries to joke, and Isak lets out a wet laugh.

“Thank you,” He says, feeling meek.

“You’re going to therapy right?” Jonas asks.

“Yes. Next week,” Isak assures him.

“Proud of you, bro,” Jonas says and it makes Isak chuckles again. “Hot boyfriend and a therapy appointment, you’re doing great!”

Isak and Jonas laugh at his stupid joke and say their goodbyes. Well, not goodbye, just see you later. Isak hangs up and makes himself promise that he’ll talk to his best friend more. This light feeling in his chest is addictive, and he knows he can achieve that from talking to Jonas more. _You have to take care of yourself_ , Isak reminds himself.

He takes a couple minutes to calm down before going back to Even’s apartment. When he opens his front door, he’s shocked to see the hallway full of people he’s never met, along with Even and Juliet.

Juliet runs to him as soon as he’s got his door open and hugs his legs tightly.

“Who the hell are you?” A young woman asks him, in English. She’s tall and thin, with piercing green eyes and straight brown hair.

“Isak… a family friend,” He says awkwardly. He’s always hated speaking English, and he’s incredibly confused.

“Ma, why would you bring her here? What the hell?” Even grumbles at the other two people in the hallway, so Isak assumes they’re Even’s parents. His mother argues back, something about her just showing up at the house.

“Can you guys please speak English? Jesus,” The young woman complains and then Isak can tell she’s American. Even and his parents continue to argue, the woman chiming in occasionally. After a few minutes, Isak looks down when Juliet tugs on his shirt. She raises her arms up, the universal signal used by children when they want to be held. Isak picks her up and she wraps her arms around his neck, tucking her head into Isak’s shoulder. Isak thought she was clearly distressed, so he hugged her tight, rubbing her back to calm her.

“Rose, _please,_ just go home,” Even finally urges at the young woman, Rose. “You too,” Even says to his parents. They argue a bit, his mother insisting that she can stay, but Even says he needs to do this on his own. Isak is wildly confused.

“Alright kjære,” Even’s mom says, squeezing at his shoulder as her and her husband begin to walk down the hall to the elevator.

“I’m not leaving! I flew all the way here for a reason, Even,” Rose huffed, crossing her arms. Isak has never seen Even so angry.

“Isak, take Juliet to her room, please,” Even asks him, in Norwegian. Isak nods, stepping between the two of them but Rose grabs him.

“You’re being such an asshole. You – “ She pointed to Isak, “Don’t move,”

“Go Isak,” Even says and Isak moves away from her.

“I am her _mom_! You can’t do this to me!” Rose shouts, making Isak freeze in the doorway. Juliet’s head perks up. Isak thinks there’s no way Juliet knows much English, but she must know ‘mom’.

“Daddy?” Juliet asks, voice small as she hugs Isak tighter.

“What the hell is wrong with you?” Even snaps at Rose. Isak turns slightly to look at them, not knowing what to do now, he’s just frozen. “You left!” Even continues in English, “You left her with me, almost five fucking years ago, you don’t get to come back claiming to be her mother,”

“Well, I’m back now,” Rose growls and Even looks like he’s holding back from full on screaming.

“No,” He simply states.

“No, what? You know I could take you to court? I could say you stole the baby. You _are_ crazy enough to do that. They would believe me in a heartbeat,” Rose snarls. Isak watches in disgust, horrified by this evil person standing in front of him. Even just stares at her, in horror.

“You can’t fucking do that,” Isak says, in his shitty English. Rose and Even look over at him in shock, probably not realizing he was still there. Isak felt his face flush, but he couldn’t hold back. “She’s spent her entire life here, she’s just a kid. You cannot take her away from her grandparents and her routine, it will cause trauma and stress. She’ll be miserable with you.”

Rose looks shocked and angry, but before she can get a word in, Juliet is mumbling into Isak’s ear.

“What’s going on?” She asks him.

“It’s going to be okay, sweetie, everything’s fine. After we finish talking, we’ll go to that café across the street, okay? Sound good?” Isak tells her, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear and rubbing her back comfortingly. The motion calms him down as well. Just the thought of Even losing Juliet breaks his heart in two.

“What are you saying to her?” Rose snaps, and Isak is truly shocked how Even had a relationship with a woman who didn’t bother to learn even a bit of Norwegian. “Why doesn’t she speak English?” She continues, snapping at Even.

“She’s four, Rose! She doesn’t need to learn yet, jesus,” Even groans.

“Now I can’t fucking talk to her,” She complains and Even rolls his eyes.

“Whatever. Are you going to leave now? Because Isak’s right. She has her life _here_ , and there’s no way in hell you’re taking her,” Even says, voice firm and low. It’s scary seeing him so angry. Rose huffs, stomping her foot like a child.

“Even, you’re sick! How the hell are you capable of being a good dad!” She shouts, her face red and eyes wild. Isak’s face tightens. Sick? How is Even sick? Is he alright? Isak feels his heart start racing.

“Rose, leave now. I don’t know what my parents were thinking when they brought you here, but you need to go,” Even says firmly, stepping into his apartment from the hallway and going to close the door.

“I’m coming back tomorrow with my fucking lawyer!” She shouts before storming down the hall. Even shuts his front door, locks it, and slumps down to sit on the floor. Isak and Juliet watch him for a moment, both unsure what to do.

“Can we get danishes now?” Juliet whispers in Isak’s ear.

“Give your dad a minute,” He says as they stare down at Even. He brings his knees to his chest and hides his face, making him look so small. “Even?”

Even just shakes his head, and Isak doesn’t really know what to do. They stand there for a while before Juliet squirms.

“Juliet, why don’t you show me your drawings?” He asks and Juliet nods her head. He lets her down and she leads him to her bedroom to show him her coloring books full of princesses and animals. They flip through her coloring books for ten minutes before Even appears in the doorway.

“Someone said something about danishes?” He says, trying his best to put on a smile.

“Yay!” Juliet cheers, still happily wearing her coat and boots.

“I’ll go get my coat,” Isak says, and Even nods. He walks past him in the doorway, and Even stops him.

“Thanks… and um, I’m sorry you had to be there,” Even apologizes but Isak just scoffs.

“Don’t apologize to me,” He says, looking at Even’s scared eyes. “It’ll be okay, don’t stress,” Isak assures him and Even nods, probably trying to believe him.

They all grab their coats and ride the elevator down. Isak and Even hold Juliet’s two hands as they walk across the street to the little café.

The three of them order their danishes, Isak and Even getting coffee as well, and sit down.

“So… um,” Isak starts, but he doesn’t necessarily want to have this conversation in front of Juliet. “Rose?” He just asks. Even sighs, but he nods.

“Yeah… She wasn’t always like that, you know?” He says in English, and Isak realizes Juliet can’t understand them this way. She just continues to color on the paper the barista gave her. “She was normal, sometimes got mad at little things and took it out on me, but… Yeah. I guess when she found out she was pregnant she tried to run away from me but… I think she’s too selfish to be a mom. That’s why she dropped her off with me,” Even says, sighing deeply.

“Shit,” Isak huffs. “She won’t get her back though, you know that, right?”

“I hope so…” Even sighs, and it’s silent for a while once the barista brings them their drinks and danishes.

“Why’d Rose say you were sick?” Isak blurts out and Even jerks his head up to look at him, something like fear in his eyes. “Was she… serious?”

“Can we talk later?” Even snaps, picking at his cheese danish. Isak frowns, but nods. He’s just worried. He’s a doctor, he’s there to help sick people. Still, he doesn’t want to push Even.

~

Needless to say, Isak and Even didn’t go on their date that night. Isak watches as Even collapses onto the couch after putting Juliet to bed, after a long day, to say the least.

“I’m really sorry, Is,” Even admits, looking drained from today as he laid his head on the back of the couch. After getting coffee, they chilled at Even’s for a bit, watching Disney movies with Juliet. It was chill, and fun, and probably what they would’ve done for hours if Rose had never shown up.

“It’s okay, I get it,” Isak says, getting up from the couch to leave, “I’ll come by tomorrow when Rose and her lawyer come over, okay?”

Even looked up at him from the couch, looking shocked. Isak felt a bit offended that Even was so surprised that he wanted to be there for him.

“Seriously?” Even stands up from the couch. “You mean it?”

“Yeah, of course,” Isak tells him, and in this moment, it feels like Even’s the one with no experience with relationships. “I care about you guys, I’m gonna fight for you two,”

Even stares at him for a moment, and Isak wonders if he made it awkward between them. He opens his mouth to say something but Even beats him to it. “I am sick,”

“Oh,” Isak feels his heart beat pick up, beating even faster than it already was. His mind starts racing as Even just stares at him. He thinks of the worst scenarios, flicking through his mind like film reel. He starts to think of hospitals and fucking care facilities and wonders if that’s his life ahead, if he sticks with Even. Is this the universe playing some cosmic joke on him?

“I’m… I have bipolar disorder. I take meds, and I haven’t had a bad episode since I was in my early twenties. I swear,” Even says and Isak blurts out a laugh. Even’s face falls into a frown in an instant.

“Fuck,” Isak breathes out an exhale of relief. “I thought you were gonna say fucking cancer, or I don’t know, worse,”

“But, you know bipolar is… _difficult_ to deal with, right?” Even says, slowly. Isak walks up to Even, closing the distance between them. He presses a hand to Even’s cheek.

“Even, having bipolar disorder is not the end of the world,”

“Sometimes it can feel like that,”

“I know,” Isak hums, “But it doesn’t scare me,” He says, because he knows that’s what Even is thinking. Even’s face relaxes just a little bit, so he doesn’t look so confused and sad. “It’s a part of you. _Just_ a part though, and I really like you… So, I like all the parts,” Isak says, and then cringes, “That was fucking cheesy, but you get it,”

Even chuckles, looking at Isak like he hung the moon. “You’re not going to run away?” He asks, and Isak feels the emotion in his voice. He can see the pain in his bright blue eyes. Isak brings both hands to wrap around Even’s neck, and brings him close. He connects their lips in such a soft, comforting kiss that he feels Even sigh out of relief. They melt together for a moment, forgetting about the rest of the world. Even finally realizes he should move his arms and takes Isak into his arms, holding him close.

Their lips move together perfectly. Even’s lips feel pillowy and soft, and so much better than Isak could’ve ever imagined. Too soon, Isak has to pull away for air. Even keeps them close, leaning his forehead against Isak’s.

“For the record,” Even pants, his nose brushing against Isak’s, “I really like you too,” Isak chuckles, before diving in for another kiss.

They kiss, standing in Even’s living room, for who knows how long, before Even finally pulls away.

“I could do this forever… but I have to send you home before I’m tearing off your clothes,” Even says, breath hot against Isak’s cheek. Isak’s face flushes and he pulls away as well, taking a step back.

“Some other time, maybe?” Isak says, and he’s pretty impressed with his own ability to flirt in the state he’s in. Even smiles at him, nodding. They walk together to Isak’s front door, and kiss goodbye, as if they don’t live five feet apart. Isak watches Even close his front door before he closes his own and this time when he turns around to look at his tiny apartment, he thinks about buying actual furniture.

~

The next day, Isak goes straight over to Even’s apartment, where Even is stress-making stacks of pancakes. A woman Isak hasn’t met opens the door, dressed in a suit and ushers Isak inside.

“Calm him down,” She hisses, walking ahead to the kitchen. Isak walks in to see Juliet scarfing down syrupy pancakes at the dining table, and the woman takes a seat at the island amongst all kinds of paperwork.

“Even?” Isak questions. Even spins around, front covered in flour and waving a spatula around. Isak moves into the kitchen and takes his spatula away. “Are you nervous about today? You don’t have to be nervous,” Isak tells him, lifting his hand to brush away a bit of pancake batter from his cheek. Even lets his shoulders relax, but his face continues to look tense and concerned. “Is this your lawyer?” Isak asks, gesturing to the woman. She smiles at the two of them, affectionally.

“No, I’m Even’s sister-in-law… and I’m a lawyer. So, I guess technically I’m his lawyer,” She says, and then outstretches a hand to Isak. He shakes it firmly. “I’m Anita, Fredrik’s wife,”

Isak assumes Fredrik is one of Even’s brothers. He gives her a kind smile. “Nice to meet you, I’m Isak,”

“Nice to finally meet you,” She smirks and Isak flushes at the thought of Even ranting about him to his family. “Juliet raves about you,” She clarifies and Isak lets out a chuckle. It’s silent again, and Isak looks over to see Even just frozen, watching him.

“Even, don’t stress. You need to chill out,” Isak says, grabbing Even’s shoulders. Even frowns deeply.

“What if…”

“She’s not taking her, you know that,” He tells him, trying his best to convince him.

“Even, he’s right. You have a great case against her,” Anita says, and her voice is a lot more soothing. Even sighs, leans forward and sinks his head onto Isak’s shoulder. Awkwardly, Isak hugs him, not really knowing what else to do with people watching him.

“I’m just scared,” Even admits. Isak nods, hugging him for real now.

“It’s okay. Let’s clean this mess up, okay?” He says, and Even nods. As they move together to clean up the tornado of pancakes in the kitchen, Anita goes over what they’re going to talk about with Rose and her lawyer, and Isak can see Even starting to relax.

~

An hour later, Isak is playing with Juliet and her dolls in the living room, when Rose and her lawyer show up. There’s a bit of awkward pleasantries as they sit down at Even’s dining table. Then, Rose’s lawyer starts asking him questions. Isak tries to listen, while also playing with Juliet and her Barbies. It’s quite easy since Juliet is at that age where she demands Isak to say what she wants him to say for the doll, so he just has to repeat her words.

Once the lawyers get the background information about how Even ended up having custody of Juliet, they moved on to personal questions.

“My client says you’re sick, and unstable,” Rose’s lawyer, Mrs. Matos says. Isak feels his body tense out of anger.

“My client has been diagnosed with bipolar disorder since he was 17. He’s been consistently taking medication and is in no way unstable,” Anita fires back, sounding a little angry herself.

“I haven’t had a bad episode since I was about 23, so before I had Juliet, and I gave you my psychiatrist’s contact info so you can be sure,” Even says firmly. Isak hears Rose scoff. It’s silent for a little bit and Isak hears a few papers shuffle around.

“Mr. Bech Naesheim, could you describe Juliet’s day-to-day routine and maybe mention some of the people in her life?” The lawyer asks.

“Sure. I spend most days with her, except when I have to work, then she’s with either my parents or my best friend Yousef, who’s a kindergarten teacher. I’ve actually already set her up to go to that kindergarten next year, it’s the best in the city,” Isak can tell Even thinks he’s rambling when he hears him take a shaky breath as he pauses. He continues, “Sometimes Isak takes care of her, he’s a doctor.”

“Oh, is that right?” Mrs. Matos questions, and Isak’s head snaps over to the dining table to see them all turned to look at him. Rose has this annoyed snarl on her face.

“Yeah… I uh, live across the hall, so I’ve taken care of her a couple times,” Isak assures.

“Issy’s a prince, he’s the best in the world!” Juliet cheers when she realizes they’re talking to Isak. Everyone smiles fondly at her except the two American’s in the room who just quirk an eyebrow.

“She calls him a prince and says he’s her best friend,” Even explains in English, with this big goofy grin on his face.

“Okay…” Mrs. Matos nods. “So, the child is very attached to the people around her, you’d say?”

“Yes,” Even nods, “It’s practically my mission to make every day the best day possible,”

The lawyer hums and Isak watches her flick through her paperwork some more. Isak looks back to Juliet to see that she’s pulled out her coloring book. Isak lays on his stomach when she gives him a drawing to color in. He gladly accepts the distraction from the churning in his stomach.

The lawyers talk some more about junk Isak kinda of blocks out, until Rose’s lawyer sighs heavily.

“Rose,” He hears her say, “I need you to understand that the most you could do is get half-custody, but there’s no way you will be able to revoke Even’s custody. Even then, I can’t say a judge would definitely guarantee any custody at all, since you aren’t in her life at all,”

“Oh, come on, are you kidding me? You’re gonna let him win?!” Rose snaps.

“Rose, you’ll likely lose a lot of money, and _most likely_ , not gain any custody because of your background with the child, or lack thereof,” Mrs. Matos says, and Isak tries his best to bite back a smile. It’s silent for a few tense moments before Isak looks over and Rose shoots out of her seat. She shoves a finger in Even’s face, stomping her foot.

“ _Screw you, Even!_ I never want to see you again!” She shouts, before spinning around and storming out of the apartment. Mrs. Matos stands up and apologizes, before following her out. Even jumps up to shut the door behind the two of them. Isak stands up from the living room floor and watches Even with bated breath.

Even sighs, in relief, smiling that goofy smile. Isak knows he probably looks similar though as his smile widens across his face. Even laughs, sounding surprised.

“Thank fuck,” Even sighs, running his hands through his hair.

“Daddy, that’s bad word!” Juliet reprimands and Even just laughs louder, running across the living room to scoop her up and spin her around like he’s in a movie. They laugh happily as Even pecks kisses all over her face. He hugs her close, suddenly not laughing anymore, and deadly serious as he tells her he loves her. Isak feels like he should look away, but it’s such a sweet scene.

“I love you, Daddy,” She responds, pressing a kiss to his cheek, making Even smile softly. Even looks over to Anita.

“Thank you so much for coming, Anita,” He says as she packs up her things.

“No problem. Anything for you,” She answers, walking around the couch to hug Juliet and Even goodbye. “Nice meeting you, Isak. Hope to see you soon,” She says, and then she leaves.

Isak stands in the living room, awkwardly as Juliet shows Even what she drew while he was busy.

“Is that supposed to be me?” Even asks.

“No!” Juliet says, “It’s Prince Issy, obviously! It’s me and Issy at the park, and he’s making me a castle because I’m a princess,”

“Oh right, of course,” Even says, glancing up to wink at Isak playfully. Even looks back to Juliet with starry eyes, and Isak feels like stomach flip in a weird affectionate way. “We should celebrate,” He suggests.

“Celebrate what?” Juliet asks, and it’s cute because she can’t really pronounce “celebrate”.

“Just…” Even thinks for a moment, a ridiculously wide smile on his face. “It’s Isak’s birthday,”

“Issy!” Juliet shouts.

“Huh?”

“Yeah, he didn’t tell you?” Even winks at Isak again and he rolls his eyes.

“Yeah, sorry, I forgot,” Isak tells Juliet, since she’s got her hands on her hips and an exaggerated pout on her face.

“Pizza?” Juliet asks, switching up to puppy dog eyes really fast. No wonder Even’s always in those silly outfits. There’s no way to say no to those eyes.

So, they go out to Juliet and Even’s favorite pizza joint in the city. Juliet sits in the same side of the booth as Isak, and Even pretends to be offended, but Isak can see the fondness in his eyes. They laugh and joke, and try to decide which is the best way to eat a slice of pizza. Even could probably argue the folding method to his dying day, but Isak doesn’t get it at all. Juliet brings up a new argument, which is who is better, Isak or Even, which Even concedes, admitting that Isak is better. It’s all fun and bright laughter.

And Isak can’t stop thinking about the fact that he didn’t want their first date to be any different than this right here, in a pizza place in the city where his shoes stuck to the floor, and with Juliet clinging to his arm. He playfully kicked Even’s foot under the table to tell him so, while they were waiting for the bill.

“Hey,” Isak says, and Even looks at him with this fond smile in his eyes.

“Hmm?” Even hums, sounding content as he nudges his foot over Isak’s.

Isak gives him a smile, one he doesn’t think he’s ever let anyone see, a genuine smile, trying to best to convey all that his heart is feeling. “Best first date ever,” He grins at the way Even chuckles but nods in agreement.

“Best first date ever,” He repeats, as they stare into each other’s eyes, so content in the other’s presence. Isak was confident that he’s never been so happy in his life, never felt so safe. He doesn’t want a thing to change.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> if you liked this chapter, please leave a comment and encourage me to write the next chapter fast lol thank you so much for reading!
> 
> if you wanna yell at me, on twitter i'm @tooo_muchcoffee


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